Hard Shell
by undeadheart
Summary: When she found a girl called Sophia in the woods, she had no way of telling that she would soon find a new variety of reasons to survive the apocalypse. But the road is never easy, especially if you're still trying to deal with your past. AU from 2x05 on. Daryl/OC, Carol/Daryl friendship
1. Bullet

So lately I've been wondering how the series would have gone if there had been another bamf in the group who doesn't mind getting their hands dirty once in a while and to be honest, I just don't want Sophia to die after all the effort Daryl put into finding her.  
I hope I do the idea and the characters justice. And just so you know, I'm going to follow the main plot of the series although some details will be different (and Sophia's death of course, which is major).

If I don't describe a confrontation/conversation while you recognize the main plot, assume I just didn't write it out as it doesn't change with the changes I made. I don't want to bore anyone.

I want to point out that Daryl and Carol won't end up together in this story but they will be just as close compared to the series, just not romantically involved (even though I hope that is what will happen in the fall *wink*)

Rated Mature for violence, gore, mentions of drug use and medical mariuhana. Perhaps lemons if you ask nicely.  
A lot of smoking going on here too, cigarettes mind you.

I do not own The Walking Dead franchise in any way, if I did, my ideas would be what everyone watches on Sundays. I wish I owned Daryl though. ;)

* * *

**Hard Shell **

Bullet's Another Way of Saying Hello these Days

Sometimes, she just didn't even make sense to herself. Yes, she admitted to herself, she had always had a weak spot for people in need or danger, but one would think that the end of the world would change that. Well, apparently it didn't, in fact she seemed even more prone to find people in need.

Only three days ago, the woman had found a little girl in the woods all by herself. The girl had been chased by two of the freaks and the woman just couldn't let them kill or worse, change her, so she had intercepted and killed them just as the girl had fallen over a log. After making sure that the dead stayed dead by stabbing their brains with her hunting knife, she had checked on the girl. Sophia, that was the girl's name, had either badly twisted her ankle or broken it, which seemed more likely. The young woman decided that she couldn't very well leave the girl now that she was injured and lost.

So she decided to strap the girl to her back, and go about finding her group that way. It came in very handy that she was fit, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to carry Sophia at all. Still, they weren't nearly as fast as she would have liked and since Sophia had no idea where she came from, only that it was some kind of road, they just began moving in the general direction where the woman knew a road was.

During the days, they walked and talked quietly about anything that came to their minds and the woman therefore learned a lot about both Sophia and her group. She didn't like the stories about the girl's father, Ed, and was secretly very glad that he was dead. From the sounds of it, the group as a whole was as balanced as possible and she was sure that once they found them, Sophia would be safe and she could move on. Sophia also got to know her rescuer and after a while started trusting her because frankly, the girl had been a bit scared of the woman at first.

And which child wouldn't be? The woman was tall and slender, it seemed kind of bizarre that she could carry the twelve-year old at all. She had long brown hair that went until the small of her back, but was shaven off on the left side, her face seemed relatively pretty but her nose wasn't entirely straight. Her ears were gauged and she had several other piercings in them. The thing that was really remarkable though, was that her body was covered in tattoos. They were beautiful but overwhelming at first look, as they covered nearly all of her skin, except her face and some of her neck. She wore black boots, skinny jeans, a formerly white tank top that was now bloodstained and covered in dirt, a leather jacket over it. Her name was Jasmin and as it turned out, she was originally from Europe. Her voice seemed to be at war with her brash and shocking exterior as it was smooth, musical even with just the barest of an accent.

She didn't like talking about her past and Sophia got that it had to have been painful because while she was on Jasmin's back, she saw her shoulders and arms from up close, and Sophia had never seen so many scars on a human being. Her back was crisscrossed in them, her arms had deep indentations and mounds on them, but somehow the tattoos seemed to incorporate them so that they weren't visible from afar.

Jasmin was well-versed with the knife and had a shotgun, though she had not used the gun in Sophia's presence. She kept Sophia fed with provisions from her backpack and once she even caught a rabbit while Sophia hid in trees. That's also where they slept because according to Jasmin, the ground wasn't safe at night.

They were trekking though the wilderness on the third day since Jasmin had rescued Sophia when they heard the shouting, it was far away but they caught it anyway because they were attuned to the forest's sounds. Someone was clearly calling out for Sophia and they quickly decided to go see who it was without making their presence known. It was no use telling someone they were there if they weren't friendly – and Jasmin had encountered those people since the world ended enough to be careful. It was unlikely that someone who didn't know Sophia would call out for someone with the same name, but Jasmin wasn't taking any chances.

They found the creek after some time and when Sophia spotted the man lying on the riverside, she promptly informed Jasmin that she knew the man, that he was a friend. He seemed to be pretty banged up and bleeding from an arrow to his abdomen, which was alarming but things got even more alarming when a freak walked up to him. In a split-second, Jasmin had Sophia untied from her back and ran for the guy, butchering the freak just a few feet from him. A second freak was just on his way, but before it could come near them, she ended it too by throwing her knife and piercing its brain through the eye-socket. She yanked her knife out of the skull then, rolling her eyes as a squelching sound erupted.

Next, she went back to Sophia and sat her next to the man who seemed to be waking up. Jasmin took it upon herself to speed that process up a bit and shook his shoulder. "Hey there, tough guy, wake up! I need to take a look at that wound of yours, your blood is attracting the freaks!" He started mumbling nonsense about Merlin and errand guys, so Jasmin rolled him to his uninjured side and pulled the arrow out quickly. He groaned then and started cussing.  
"He never seemed to have a filter", Sophia said while Jasmin rummaged through her backpack looking for bandages.

Daryl finally woke up completely and sat up. "Fuckin' horse, I shoulda kill it."  
"Shut up and get your shirt off, I'm going to bandage that wound of yours and then you can tell us where the rest of your group is so I can bring little Sophia over there back to her mum."  
As soon as she said Sophia, Daryl's head snapped up and around, looking right at the girl he had been looking for for the last few days. "Jesus Christ am I still trippin'?"  
"Just take off that damned shirt will you?! I ain't got all day. How far is it to your group?"  
As if without thinking, Daryl finally lifted his shirt up so Jasmin could bandage his wound. There wasn't much she could do other than wrapping the wound, but that had to count for something, she hoped it would keep the freaks away at least and maybe stop or slow the bleeding. She said nothing but couldn't help noticing the scars that littered his torso and back, opting to let Sophia do the talking.  
"Jasmin rescued me! She thinks my ankle is broken, has been carrying me for three days 'cause of that! Where's my mom? I miss her like crazy, not that Jasmin isn't nice. Jasmin, you're nice, really, but where is my mom? What about Carl and the others?"  
"Jeez, slow down, will ya? Gonna take ya to them, dunno how they goina react to tat girl over here tho."

"Ready to go, that's all I can do right now. You think you're going to be okay until you show us the way to your camp? I really can't carry both of you so you're going to have to walk, buddy." Daryl, still wary and slightly doubting he was even sane, started leading the way back to the farm.

Jasmin followed behind after getting Sophia back on her back. The girl was nearly bouncing with happiness, eager to see her mother and friends again, which Jasmin could understand but the bouncing wasn't helping her carry the girl, quite the opposite actually.  
"Slow down Sophia, can't carry you when you bounce around like a frog, be patient just a bit longer. Buddy, how'd you end up with an arrow in your belly? Maybe you should get rid of that crossbow if you can't handle it!"  
"Handle it all right, missy, fell from the damned horse. Stupid thing. How'd ya find Sophia, been lookin' fer days!" he asked.  
"Found her being chased by freaks, couldn't leave her there, been with me for three days," was the answer.

They walked for a while, Sophia chattering on and Daryl answering some of her questions when suddenly, he asked: "What was the name 'gain?"  
"Jasmin, no nicknames or you're going to regret it."  
"Aye, Jasmin, thanks for keepin the girl save, her mama's goina be real happy."  
"Yes well, I seem to have a soft spot for strangers in danger lately." She laughed and he huffed, catching that she meant him too, as if he couldn't have saved himself. But alas, they'd never know what would have happened, had Jasmin and Sophia not heard him.

Daryl seemed to remember something then and gave the doll he found to Sophia, who happily received it and started bouncing up and down.  
"Girl, calm down, you're heavy without the bouncing around, I'm gonna be walking like a grandma forever just because of you." It was true though, while she was strong, Jasmin wasn't made for carrying around twelve-year old girls which is why she was walking bent-forwards and slightly to the left because most of Sophia's weight rested there at the moment.

* * *

"Not long now, jus' behind the tree line," Daryl announced after another while had passed. One could never be sure of the time these days, and what did it even matter? There were no more appointments to keep, no friends to meet for drinks or dinner, only survivors and freaks, time seemed irrelevant when survival was all you thought about.

So when they finally passed the tree line, they were two prone figures, both filthy though Daryl was filthier than Jasmin and Sophia but the females appeared to be even taller than Jasmin really was and way wider so it comes as no surprise that when Andrea spotted them, she was instantly panicking. "Walker, walker!"  
"Just the one?" asked Rick and Andrea grabbed the binoculars then and said.  
"No, it's two of them. I can handle them with the gun, safer that way."  
"No, put the gun down, Hershel wants to deal with this!" Rick tried to argue but Shane, T-Dog and Glenn were running forward with weapons in their hands, Shane shouting.  
"What for? We can handle this!"

As the men, including Rick, ran forward, Andrea lined up her gun and aimed for the bigger walker's head. She couldn't see very well due to the sun shining so brightly but she decided that if she missed, she could always shoot again. There was no way she would let a walker near the camp, let alone two of them. Just as she pulled the trigger, the walker made an unanticipated move, so Andrea knew she hadn't hit the head. Then the shouting ensued.

* * *

When Daryl, Jasmin and Sophia heard the group shouting about walkers, they knew something wasn't right; thinking that maybe there were Walkers behind them or coming from a different direction.  
"Walkers, where?"Jasmin said while turning around and straightening up to get a better look at their surroundings. She couldn't see any threat which confused her immensely.

Suddenly, they heard a bullet being fired and in the next instant, Jasmin was on the ground, taking Sophia with her.  
"FUCK, YOU PEOPLE CRAZY OR SOMETHIN'?!" Daryl shouted while falling to his knees next to the girls.  
"You okay there Sophia?" Jasmin asked even though her voice was laced with pain while blood seeped out of the gunshot wound.  
"Yeah, but you're not!" Daryl had just unfastened the now crying girl when the men arrived, all of them too confused to really say anything except cuss.

They seemed relieved that Sophia was there, not really caring that Daryl seemed hurt or that a woman was lying face first on the floor, apparently just having been shot. That is, until said woman pushed herself up, holding a hand to her profusely bleeding shoulder, giving them a look that could kill.  
"That's how you thank me for saving your little girl? Fuck, you people are sick, should've just left her or taken her with me. Everything's better than being shot, fucking hell." She then stood up, trying to get her things when she started swaying from side to side.  
"You damned people gonna help her or what? HELP!" Daryl then shouted towards the house.  
Rick and the others had not come out of their stupor when Andrea and Dale arrived.  
"Mum, I want my mum. Jasmin, wait, she can help!" Sophia pleaded, to which Jasmin turned to look at her. Her eyes then rolled back into her head and she fell to the ground. "Nooo!" wailed Sophia.

As if the situation was not pandemonium enough, more people came running towards them, Carol one of them. As she spotted her missing girl on the ground crying, she assumed the worst and fell to the ground next to Sophia.  
"Mum, I'm okay! Jasmin needs help, someone shot her! She's my friend! She saved me, someone help her!"  
As this took place, Daryl had started applying pressure to Jasmin's wound but she would need serious help, as far as he could tell.  
Finally, Rick started acting and directed T-Dog to help him carry the woman to the house, Andrea taking the newcomer's things and helping Daryl to the house while Shane and Dale helped Carol with Sophia.

* * *

Back at the house, Hershel had no choice but to help the three injured people, though his priorities seemed to be a bit backwards as he first looked Sophia over and decided that her ankle had been secured the right way and she would just have to wait it out until nature ran its course and her broken ankle healed. Next, he wanted to stitch up Daryl but he protested until Hershel finally looked Jasmin over. The bullet went right through her which meant that aside from stitching her up and securing her shoulder, there wasn't much to be done for her, though now Hershel too noticed the scars. He kept his mouth shut until he saw Daryl's exposed scars.  
"What is it with you people and scars? You're not the kind of people I want with my family.." he trailed off.  
Daryl meanwhile was getting pissed, no one commented on his scars, no one judged him on them, they were his own damned business. What did others understand of the violence he had to endure? What did they know of the impact it had on him? _Nothing_, that's right.

"Watcha know about it, huh, ol' man? Ain't none o' yer goddamned business what's on my body!" he exploded.  
"Well, while that might be true, I can't have the girl stay in the house, no matter her condition. No one knows if she's trustworthy and one look at her tells me that somethings isn't right with her." Hershel said.  
"Yeah, she only saved a little girl she didn't have ta save, huh? No big deal, you think? Think again!"  
"I am glad the girl is back but a person like this will not sleep in my house at night, not with that metal and the scars!" Hershel's mind was set.

Rick and Carol, who were on their way to the kitchen, heard part of the argument and Carol decided that she would side with both Daryl and her own personal hero, the unknown woman. "You can't just throw her out, she's been shot!"

Just then, the door to the room where Jasmin was lying, opened and revealed said woman.  
"Verdammte Scheiße, is it common for you people to say hello with a fucking bullet?" She looked a bit worse for wear but other than the bandage, nothing indicated that she had just been shot.  
Rick started, "Whoa, are you sure you should be moving? You can rest some more, we'll take care of it."  
"Nah, don't get your panties in a bunch, I'm just going to move on now. Ain't nothing I can't take. Now where's my stuff and where's the girl, I want to say goodbye."  
"You can't just leave, we want to thank you, I want to thank you properly for saving my little girl! But your things are with Sophia, in the kitchen, we didn't take anything.

Jasmin headed in the direction of the kitchen but just before turning the corner, she said to Daryl.  
"Nice meeting you, buddy. If you're interested, I have cigarettes, wouldn't mind sharing a bit before I go." Daryl, who had been wishing for just a bit of tobacco for weeks, was all for it and therefore threw on his shirt and was on her tail in seconds. His abdomen gave him a bit of trouble, but a Dixon wouldn't be deterred by scrapes like that.

After getting her smoking things, as Jasmin preferred to roll her own, she headed out of the door to the patio. Handing one cigarette to Daryl, she lit up her own and took a deep drag and asked "Are those people always this nice or is it my charm that made them shoot me?"  
"Nah, people are alright, just 'fraid of walkers. First incident like tha', s'far as I know."  
"Good to know, you should also know that there are other people in this area and they are about as nice as the my welcome here. Watch out for them, don't want little Sophia being shot or worse after I carried her around all that time."  
"What're ya talking 'bout?"  
"Just what I said, this area isn't secure and it sure as hell isn't yours or that grandpa's either. He might think that but that really ain't the case. Keep your guard up, move on I would suggest. You can't take all those people and their guns."  
Daryl was quiet for a while, thinking through the information she had just given him. "Wait 'ere, gotta get Rick, he needs ta hear this."

So while Daryl went to fetch Rick, Jasmin sat down on the stairs of the patio. She hadn't been lying when she said that she could take the gun wound, she really had endured more but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt, that she wouldn't sit down when she had the chance. While she was waiting for the men to return, Carol and Sophia, with her mother's help, came out of the house, carrying water and some of the food they had prepared for that evening's dinner. Carol started  
"Here, this is for you. You need sustenance with that wound. Thank you for saving my Sophia and bringing her back, it means the world and more to me to have her back!"  
"That really isn't necessary - Carol, is it? I did what I thought was the right thing to do, nothing more nothing less and Sophia was a good passenger, so to speak." At that, she smiled at the girl, who beamed a smile back. "There is no need to thank me, just take care of her from now on. I taught her how to tell the cardinal points so if she gets lost again, she will at least not be as lost as she was."

"But you're not going to leave, are you?" asked Sophia then, her face crestfallen at the prospect of parting with her new friend.  
"Doesn't look good at the moment, Süße. I'm not welcome here, grandpa especially doesn't like me at all. I wouldn't want to be a burden and I won't stay if my presence is going to cause problems. I'm better off on my own anyways."  
"But you can't be alone out there!" Carol threw in.  
"I made it this far, didn't I? This here," she pointed to her shoulder then, "is the first serious wound I have gotten since all this started. I can take care of myself."

"You don't have to do that, though." Rick then said, he arrived just in time to hear the last part of the discussion. "We could work something out, as far as our group is concerned, you saved two of our own already. We don't take that lightly and you've given us more information that will keep us save, hopefully. Why not stay with us, there is strength in numbers."  
"There is only strength in numbers if every person has their strength. I won't say no right away. How about you let me meet the rest of your people and I will decide then? I will repeat what I told buddy over there then too for all of them to hear. Right now, I have things to do."

"Things like what?" Daryl asked.  
"Get my stuff together, wash my clothes cause they fucking reek and find a place to sleep tonight. I will meet your people tomorrow morning, alright? I just want to rest a bit today."  
"Please don't leave, Jasmin!" Sophia piped in again.  
Jasmin felt touched at how badly the girl seemed to want to keep her with them, so she said "I will be there tomorrow morning, I promise."  
"Pinky promise?"  
"Yes, pinky promise" and they linked pinkies and Jasmin promised again. She then left to get her things and walked out of sight.

"She sure is something else", Rick then said to no one in particular.  
"Don't know the half of it, that woman carried Sophia for days, helped bind my wound and those tats, well damn, that's fucking art."  
"What I meant is that she could be a powerful addition to our group. I don't think there is much that will stop her."

With that, the small group went inside to have dinner with the Greene family and to celebrate the recovery of Sophia, but their thoughts also were with the woman that had brought her back.


	2. Try Honesty

Try Honesty

Rick Grimes was not an overly trusting man, his trust was earned but when he gave it, he gave it unconditionally. Maybe some people perceived this as weakness, but he considered it one of his finer character traits. That was why he couldn't for the life of him understand how Hershel could send a woman away that had just been shot, saying that she couldn't be trusted. Who else could they trust but her, Jasmin, who had saved Sophia and then kept the girl save for days when she literally had no obligation to do that? How far gone was this world, when someone sent honorable people in need away when all they require is a room to sleep in? To say that Rick was unhappy with Hershel would have been an understatement. But until morning, there was nothing they could do, Jasmin had already left and going after her when she had asked for peace was not something Rick wanted to do.

In turn, to say that Hershel felt righteous in his decision was a good evaluation of the situation. He had never trusted people he did not know, had only allowed those people to camp on his land because Otis had accidentally shot their boy. To allow a total stranger to stay in his house, where his family and friends slept, was a risk he wasn't willing to take. While it was true that the woman, whatever her name was, had saved Sophia but that didn't change that she was seemingly covered in both scars and tattoos. Those were two of the things that set Hershel's radar on distrust and the quantity of both those things on that woman just made it impossible for him to even give her the benefit of doubt.

While the group, Hershel's family and friends had dinner, everyone felt elated that they had Sophia back, no one more so that Carol as she had nearly given up hope and would have, had it not been for Daryl's constant words of encouragement. Andrea meanwhile didn't know what to feel – she was happy that Sophia was back, no doubt about it but she also felt like shit, she had shot the girl's savior in the shoulder, would have killed her if everything had gone to plan. And the woman was gone before she was able to apologize. Andrea was still astonished that someone could walk away so shortly after being shot, to be honest she was worried if she had just gotten herself an enemy that could crush her.

Jasmin on the other hand felt apprehensive. She had been on her own for quite a while now and wasn't sure if she wanted to join a group she knew so little about when she had been fine on her own. Sure, she would miss Sophia, the girl was bright and even though she was quite timid, she had one hell of a sense of humor. Daryl also seemed to be alright, as far as she could tell anyways. She knew that if she decided to stay with the group, she would have to reveal parts of her past to them. That was the only way they could even begin to trust her but she wasn't sure if she wanted to open that can of worms again. Her past was the reason why she had left Germany, her home country, in the first place. It was all people would talk to her about, always asking questions about what happened but not to help her, nearly never to help her but out of curiosity. They were like vultures and the whole country knew her after the ordeal. There was no escaping the vultures, so she had left the country altogether and had gone to America. Found herself a place in New York and had never looked back. She had her scars covered up and worked in the same studio ever since. Now she would have to dig it up again, talk about it. But maybe, _just maybe_, she thought, she would find friends in this group and just maybe, she could really heal now, during the fucking Zombie Apocalypse.

* * *

The group woke bright and early and set about preparing breakfast, eager to really meet the woman who had saved Sophia and Daryl, though only Rick and Daryl really knew that – and Daryl intended to keep it that way, thank you very much.  
"I want to make sure we are all on the same page before Jasmin arrives, yes that is her name. I have offered her a place in our group, not only because she saved Sophia but because she seems to be tough and to be honest with you, we need more people like that in our group, no offense to anyone." Rick announced.  
"Are you sure about that? We don't know her, don't know if we can trust her." Shane threw in, clearly not liking the idea of a stranger in the group.

Just as Rick wanted to answer, Jasmin stepped into the little clearing where the group was set up.  
"Really has to be my charm, I won't ever get a little old hello for a welcome, am I right?" Even though she was joking, part of her got suspicious. If she wasn't welcome here, she wouldn't stay. All the thoughts from yesterday would be worth nothing. But just then, as she started feeling discouraged, Sophia piped up, "Jasmin, come here, I wanna say hello!"  
The girl then slung her arms around Jasmin's mid-section as this was all she was able to reach while staying seated. Jasmin patted the girl's head and went to stand beside her and the girl's mother.  
"I'm sure we can work something out so that trust can be built between us and Jasmin, don't you think?" Rick said.

"I suggest we're honest, completely honest for this gathering at least. I can ask questions, you can ask questions. But know that I will not be honest with you if you don't give me the same courtesy. So I suggest you decide now because I ain't got all day if I have to get a move on – if I'm going to be alone I'm leaving this area as fast as possible. You should do the same, has Daryl told you what I told him?"  
Rick answered immediately. "Yes he has and I am really worried. We will discuss this information as a group after we have decided whether you will stay or not. I have made my wishes clear to the group before you came so I suggest we just vote now."

"Who wants Jasmin to leave?"  
Shane's hand shot up immediately and Lori slowly raised her arm after that.  
No one else moved for a long time and then Dale said, "I would really like to know more about her before I make my decision. I heard Hershel yesterday and I do have some questions!" Rick then looked at Jasmin, trying to tell her that she would have to answer questions before she was accepted without having to actually say anything to her. The woman in question understood but wouldn't just spill her guts without reassurance.  
"Fine, but I suggest you listen and listen good because I probably won't tell you this again – in fact I don't want you to ever come up to me and just start asking stupid questions about this. Okay?"

The members of the group nodded. "And please don't interrupt me, you can ask questions after I'm done but I have to get this out in one go. I won't go into too much detail, there's no need to but you will get the gist of it." Jasmin then sat herself down and took a deep breath in order to settle herself.

"I'm from Europe, Germany to be exact. I left the country when I was 21 to never come back. I was running, from memories, people and most of all, the stares. Everyone in the country knew who I was, knew what I went through, it was a media spectacle. They were like vultures, hounded me for interviews, statements, glimpse of something they didn't already know. As if there was anything they didn't know."  
She laughs then, but it's hollow and it hurts to look at her, they all recognize the look of someone who has seen and felt too much evil for anyone to bear.  
"But let's take a step back, I'm not making that much sense now, am I?"

"Growing up, I wasn't that different from anyone else. Have three siblings, two brothers and a sister, parents separated when I was 9 or 10. I never got along too well with my mother which is why I left as soon as I could to go to university. It was heaven, I was free for the first time since the trouble with my mother started, I was a new person and I felt like life was worth it and all that jazz. And somehow the best thing that happened to me turned into the worst thing in just a split second. I still don't know what I did to attract his attention, he wouldn't say and now he doesn't say anything anymore."  
The same hollow laugh leaves her mouth then.  
"To make a long story short, I was kidnapped one day and what happened after that was streamed to the internet where the news found it and boom, every damn station was talking about it. They were also looking for me, of course and it was quite the humiliation for the police to be frank. It took them six months to find me when I was still in the same damn city and they were watching me and him, when he graced me with his presence, 24/7. I was tortured and exposed and everyone was watching. When they finally found me and were able to shut the site down, the page had so many hits... When they told me the number, I thought the whole world knew what had happened to me. But no, only people from Germany were able to access the site, meaning everyone, absofuckinglutely everyone in freaking Germany had watched my suffering more than once. Maybe some of those hits were to make sure that I still lived but still, the number shocked me to my core, as if I wasn't already broken."

At some point during the story she had started crying though aside from the tears running down her face, there was no indication of it. Everyone was too shocked to really say anything, what was there to say, to make it better?  
_Nothing.  
_"Anyways, when they finally found me I was barely hanging on. I had made my peace, said goodbye to my friends as I knew of the camera, I was ready to go. And then they barged in, shot my captor in the process. I personally think they did that because there is no death penalty in Germany and the population was calling for him to die. So the officer shot him in the head and he was gone, just like that. No suffering, no amount of pain to make up for what he did to me, he didn't even see it coming because he was at it again with me. The nation watched, they rejoiced. And I was just being carted off to the ambulance when the first microphone was shoved into my face. They constantly tried to contact me while I was in recovery. Several times, reporters broke into the hospital and the recovery center to get a look at me, to get me to speak to them. It took me 6 months to be somewhat okay again, at least physically. That's when I gave the only interview I would ever give. It was a joke, I regretted it as soon as it started. And then, there was just no way of going back to where I was before. Everyone was treating me differently, people wanted me to somehow draw wisdom from what happened – wanted me to be some kind of hero when for a long time, I was just the victim. I'm still only the fucking victim that moved on and away to escape the darkness that I went through."

"So go on and judge me because of my scars. That grandpa up in his house can go on thinking I am a danger to everyone he loves because I might as well be. Any second, I could snap, go crazy for all he knows. I could kill all of you with my bare hands now, I know ways to kill people with one move because I will never be as vulnerable as I was that day when he got me. But if you think I lost my humanity while I was tortured, think again. I saved two people of your group yesterday, you shot me and I still haven't killed or even harmed a single one of you. So decide now if you want me to stay or go and for fuck's sake don't look at me with pity. I survived that crap, didn't I? I'm stronger now and no matter how bad you feel about what happened, it can't make it undone. And I wouldn't undo it anyways, if it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have found Sophia." Jasmin seemed to have found her composure again and smiled at the shocked girl.

"The story ends this way: I left Germany and moved to New York, where I started working at a tattoo shop. I got my scars covered and now I'm 26 years old and the world has ended. When shit started hitting the fan, I had been in Florida for vacation. Now I'm somewhere in Georgia and met a group of people that are looking at me like I'm some kind of exhibit or some crap."

The group didn't know how to respond to what they had just heard. Jasmin started smoking while she waited for them to say something.  
Rick was the first one to say anything, "I remember the reports, America also had the story but not with as much detail and the public only saw pictures of the feed with the face omitted. It was a nightmare, at first we didn't even believe it.."  
"What 'bout yer family?" Daryl wanted to know then.  
"My dad died when I was 18, car crash. My sister committed suicide while I was with him, couldn't live with what I went through – that's what she wrote anyway. And my brothers and mother made a fortune giving interviews left and right and never once tried to visit me in the hospital. So I left them behind, don't even care what happened to them any more. Up until everything went to shit, I was still in contact with some of my friends back at home, but now I guess there's no way of telling whether they are still alive, to even know what's going on in Europe. Maybe they don't have the freaks at all. Who knows."  
"The Walkers, you mean?" Dale asked.  
"Freaks, Walkers, whatever you want to call them. Anyone else got any questions?"

The group was silent for a moment, then Rick spoke up. "I guess not, so how about we vote again? The ones who want Jasmin to stay, raise your hands."  
Everyone but Shane raised their hands.  
"So then it is decided, Jasmin stays with us. Do you have a tent? We usually stay together, right Daryl?"  
The jab did not go unnoticed and Daryl conceded, "Alright, movin' back if it's so important."  
Some people laughed at that, Carol mainly looked relieved.  
"Got another cig for me?" Daryl then asked Jasmin, who nodded.  
The members of the group then introduced themselves to Jasmin, Andrea adding to the usual Hey-my-name-is "I'm really sorry about your shoulder, I just panicked when I saw you guys. I really thought you were Walkers. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you, don't hesitate to tell me."  
"Yeah, well shit happens, huh? At least I'm not fuckin dead, that would suck. I'll tell you if I need a favor but in the meantime, maybe you should work on your aim some more." Jasmin laughed. It was eerie how fast she got over the deep sadness that had settled over her while talking about what had happened to her.

"What 'bout the group she told us about?"  
Daryl then wanted to know, the group had yet to discuss what to do about them.  
"I suggest we move on, grandpa up there still doesn't want me around if you guys do, there's no other way. At least that's what I think. We don't have enough men to take them, they are at least thirty guys and they are very violent, also towards other survivors." Jasmin informed.  
Lori did not like where the conversation was going and interjected, "What, leave? We can't leave! We have food, shelter and security here, what else do we need?"  
"Have you been listening? We aren't save here!" Andrea insisted, she would much rather leave than die if she was honest.  
"We still can't leave, Hershel is useful if someone needs medical help!"  
"Look here, Lori, was it? He won't be able to help anyone when either them or he himself is dead, does that make sense to you? Just say why we can't leave, I'm guessing there's another reason, the way you're reacting." Jasmin called Lori out.

Lori looked resigned and said, "I'm pregnant."  
The group sat shocked after that admission. No one knew how they were going to deal with that information or more importantly how they were going to deal with a pregnancy. Jasmin nearly started laughing and thought to herself that there were not a lot of things that would be more difficult than dealing with a pregnancy in the apocalypse. Really, did those people have no brain? If they had to screw around, they could at least use protection like every sane person would. And now that she had decided to stay with those people, it was also her problem. Well, shoot her now, this was already getting difficult.

"Are you sure?" Rick finally found his voice again.  
"Yes. One hundred percent sure."  
Rick dragged a hand through his hair, his mind going a mile a minute. How were they going to deal with this now? A baby in the apocalypse, how come he didn't think about using protection? He hadn't even thought about it once, the possibility had totally slipped his mind. A mistake he was now paying for.

After that bombshell had been dropped, the group was quiet for a while.  
Then Glenn started, "There is something else.. The barn, it's full of walkers."  
"WHAT?!" Shane was immediately on the war path. "We have to get rid of them then! How many are there?"  
"Don't know, twenty I would think."  
Rick piped up,"That many? How did they get them all in there? We have to talk about this with Hershel, maybe there's a valid reason for this?"  
Daryl chose that moment to say, "Valid reason, my ass."

The group then started discussing things without actually finding a solution for a while, Jasmin just sat back on her haunches, observing the group. She really didn't like the vibe she was getting from that Shane guy, he was just rubbing her the wrong way and they hadn't even talked directly yet. She liked the Asian guy, Glenn, she thought he at least had some sense in him though he didn't seem to have a lot of strength. She would give him a chance nevertheless. If she was completely frank, she thought Rick's woman, probably wife since they had a child together, was plain stupid. Getting pregnant in the apocalypse, pffft. Of course, it was also Rick's responsibility but the woman was the one who had to deal with the consequences so they were naturally a lot more aware of the ramifications of sex. Or so Jasmin thought anyways. Dale, the older man, seemed reasonable though a bit patronizing as a whole and especially towards Andrea. Which brought Jasmin's musings to Andrea. She wasn't sure what to think of the woman who had nearly killed her, even though it was an accident. She would get her chance to put that right. Rick seemed alright, though he was also clearly overwhelmed with the task of taking care of a group so versatile, especially now that his wife was pregnant. And of course Jasmin was more than inclined to like Carol, Sophia's mother, as she had already heard more about her than anyone else. She wasn't sure about T-Dog yet, he hadn't said a whole lot so she had nothing to go on with. The boy, Carl, seemed weak and hadn't said anything so she had to wait and see with him. But really, how much trouble could he be, one boy?

What Jasmin didn't know was that she would change her opinion on how much trouble Carl could be in a matter of weeks. Who would have known what curiosity and boredom could do?

* * *

Did anyone get the Billy Talent reference in the title?


	3. Fights

Andrea and Shane do not go to the Housing Complex as they do not have to look for Sophia there, just to make that clear.  
On with it. :)

* * *

Fights

The next few days were relatively quiet for the group as Daryl, Jasmin and Sophia recuperated from what happened. The group had target practice but did not venture out much other than that. Rick was busy trying to negotiate with Hershel, but the older man was very stubborn, on both the account of the barn and Jasmin staying on his property. He was set in his belief that the Walkers were only sick people that had to be held until treatment was available. Also, he wouldn't budge with Jasmin's presence because for one, he didn't know her story, only what Rick told him of it and two, he was of the opinion that even without the scars, he would deem her too dangerous to trust.

At first, Jasmin was a bit overwhelmed with the group's members and their presence. She had been used to the solitude and not having to depend on anyone else but now that she had agreed to stay with them. She appreciated being part of their group, it was a lot to handle nevertheless. She took on small and easy tasks as she was still injured but she was fine doing watch and other small tasks. She had conversations with nearly all of her new companions except Shane and Daryl, the former because they simply didn't like each other and the latter because he apparently was not in the mood to talk to anyone and spent most of his time out in the woods or a little ways away from the group.

And Jasmin wasn't one to pry, she knew that it made no sense to force him to talk to her if he wasn't willing. The same was the case for everybody really, but it seemed to her that Carol hadn't gotten that particular memo as she came back from seeking out the redneck in tears and clearly unhappy. Maybe Jasmin would even give her that tip when they were talking the next time.

* * *

Meanwhile, the group was getting a bit antsy. There had not been a real decision aside from accepting Jasmin and they didn't know what to do about the two threats. The people on watch kept an eye out for the barn but it had been secure so far which was why they relaxed a bit after watching the building constantly. Other than that, the group went about life as normal as possible, helping out at the farm in exchange for food and kept their camp running smoothly.

The only excitement came when Lori asked Glenn to make another run to the pharmacy for some prenatal vitamins, and in secret abortion pills. She just wanted to cover her bases, she had said to Glenn but he felt really uncomfortable about it though he went anyways, taking Maggie with him.

Maggie was still pretty pissed off with Glenn and she was going to make sure he knew it too because even though she liked him, it hadn't been his place to tell the group about the barn. "Really Glenn, I asked you to keep quiet about the barn, was that too hard huh?"  
"Maggie, please, I had to tell them! I have to think about our safety. Walker aren't save, not even when they're in a barn!" They arrived at the pharmacy but continued their conversation, only with muted voices.

"They can't get out of it, we made sure. No need to get involved! Now part of your group wants to kill those people, just great!"  
"They aren't people, Maggie, they are dead! Walking corpses!" Glenn tried to persuade her but Maggie wouldn't have it.  
"No, _Glenn_," she said sarcastically "those people are my family, my sick family and you want to kill them! I can't believe yo-" She cut off mid sentence because she was startled by a Walker that had somehow found its way into the shop. It had grabbed her through a cupboard. Glenn froze for just a second and then rushed forward to aid the struggling woman.

While Maggie struggled to keep the Walker at bay, Glenn was looking frantically for a weapon to use. He finally took hold of the loose shelve and smashed the Walker's head with it until the bone gave way to the brain, which was destroyed with another smash of Glen. He then frantically checked Maggie over to make sure that she wasn't bitten, afterward drawing her into an embrace. Both were clearly relieved that they had gotten away with a scare and no real injuries.  
Finally they gathered the supplies they needed, making their way out of the pharmacy as quickly as possible.

When they made it back to camp, Maggie stormed towards Lori, throwing the abortion pills at her, clearly enraged.  
"Here are your fucking abortion pills, why don't you get your shit the next time? We risked our lives for you in that pharmacy and you have the audacity to ask for both abortion pills and prenatal vitamins? How about you decide right now, huh?"

Lori was too shocked to really answer, caught off guard that now the whole camp knew she had asked Glenn for abortion pills.

Rick, having heard the shouting, ran to meet up with Lori for a serious talk. They walked toward the fence that separated the farm from its outskirts. Lori finally confessed that she had an affair with Shane while she thought Rick was dead, which Rick could understand. Really, he could and he was as calm as possible for that part of their conversation. But when it came to Lori keeping her pregnancy a secret and now having Glenn also bring abortion pills, Rick finally couldn't stay calm anymore.  
"What're you thinking, making decisions like that without me? Even that you thought about aborting the baby without talking to me.. How could you?" Rick could no longer contain his anger.  
"How can you ask me to bring a child into this world? We nearly lost Carl, Sophia was lost.. The whole world has gone to shit!"  
"Don't you think I don't know that, huh?! But we have to talk about this, Lori! We're in this together, we have a group and they won't abandon us or you because of this!" Rick tried to calm both their tempers.  
"It just isn't that easy! We need Hershel and now you went and accepted that woman into our group, risking our stay here. We're save here, when was the last time we were save, huh? Just look at her, she just screams trouble. She's not worth it, isn't worth risking our safety!" Lori screamed so loud, even some people back at the camp could hear her.  
"She saved Sophia! What else was there to do but accept her? She's one of us now!" Rick said with finality.  
After that, Lori stormed back to their tent, the conversation clearly over for the time being. Rick just went for a walk around the perimeter to check the fence, not wanting to talk to anyone for a while.

* * *

Some people back at camp had heard what had just gone down, both that Lori had asked for abortion pills and that she didn't want Jasmin in their group. At first, no one really knew what to say but then Andrea decided to say something.  
"You know what? Lori doesn't decide who belongs with us and who doesn't. We will work something out, we've made it this far, haven't we?"  
"Hear, hear!" Dale called from the top of the RV, agreeing with Andrea and also glad that she seemed to have gotten over her depression. He could understand, of course, but she needed to be on full alert if she wanted to make it in this new world. And he so wanted her to survive as he cared for her in a fatherly way.

No one openly disagreed with what Andrea said though Shane had been clenching his jaw since the beginning of Lori and Rick's fight. He had decided for himself to wait until he had ammunition in his fight against the new bitch and then he would get rid of her, one way or another. He didn't need any more hobos and good-for-nothings in his group. He was already fed up with Dixon, now the fucker's girlfriend had joined them, just great. And of course, she was on good terms with Rick, another reason to dislike her, as if he needed one. Somehow, he would get rid of all the dirt beneath his shoes and nothing would stand between him and Lori when he was finished. _Nothing_.

* * *

Daryl heard everything while not having to interfere or express his opinion at all because he was working on new bolts for his crossbow just behind the trees. He wasn't exactly sure where he stood with Jasmin. She seemed capable enough and he hadn't forgotten that she had saved the girl and also him, though he admitted that only grudgingly. But still, he didn't really trust her – not that he trusted a whole lot of people in his group but still. He wasn't really sure how to deal with her past and personality and so had avoided her the last few days.

He had bigger problems at the moment anyways, Carol. He hadn't meant to be so hurtful with her, it was just that she was too close for comfort and he didn't want her gratitude, not when he hadn't even found Sophia. No, Sophia had found him, or really Jasmin had found Sophia and him. He had just led the way back to camp, not even keeping them save on the way there. If he was completely honest, his pride was hurt. He had been out there everyday, searching for Sophia when Jasmin had already found her and saved her too. Whatever, he did not want Carol to thank him and she just wouldn't let up which was why he lashed out at her. And now he felt bad, what the hell was wrong with him anyways? Those people had turned him into a fucking softie and he wasn't sure if that was entirely good for him.

Just because he felt bad about it didn't mean that he would go and apologize to her, mind you. A Dixon never apologizes, especially not for something like that. Didn't change his bad conscience either though.

* * *

After Maggie's confession to Glenn, Lori walked up to them to apologize for misjudging the situation in town. While the incident was clearly not forgotten, for now it was forgiven – at least for the two lovers. Rick was another story and when he didn't come to the Grime's family tent that evening, Lori grew restless and finally went looking for her husband.

She found him on top of the RV, talking to T-Dog who had the first watch of the night.  
"Rick, you coming soon?" She called up to the two men.  
"I'll be a while, don't wait up for me." Rick called back, not offering any explanation.  
Lori walked off, clearly discouraged and T-Dog said quietly "Man, you gotta talk to her."  
"I know, T. It's just not that easy sometimes." Rick answered just as quietly.  
T-Dog nodded as a way of answering and the two men let the time pass while looking out for any threat that might come near their camp in the night.

Meanwhile, Daryl had decided to ask Jasmin if maybe she could spare another cigarette for him. His bad mood hadn't really abated and he hoped that a cigarette would help him calm down. He found her just behind the camp, smoking something that he was quite sure was not a cigarette and he grew instantly wary. He remembered vividly what it was like to deal with his addicted brother, that there was no way of getting him off the shit and that in the end, he had lost him because of the drugs.  
"What the hell do ya think yer doin', huh? Getting high off some shit in the fuckin' apocalypse?" He snarled at her.  
"Whoa, calm your damn horses and get off my back. This is none of your business." she replied.  
"Not my business, my ass. My business cause yer a fuckin' liability that we let inta our camp."  
"I'd be a liability if I didn't smoke this, alright?! Now stay out of things you don't understand." She started walking off but Daryl was on her fast, grabbing her arm so she couldn't leave.  
"Explain now or get the hell outta here!"  
"Fine, let me go then!" Jasmin exploded.

She then stormed off towards her tent, Daryl hot on her heels. She threw her stuff into her backpack and was done packing in literally no time. She started stomping off into the woods, only to be intercepted by Rick and T-Dog, who had seen her walk in and out of her tent .  
"What's going on here?" Rick wanted to know.  
"I was just leaving, why don't you ask Daryl about the details?" Jasmin spat back, clearly still enraged.  
"Told her to leave if she can't stay away from drugs or explain herself." Daryl answered, feeling righteous in his behavior.  
"So now I'm going, step back T-Dog. I'm not going to stay here if my presence is constantly questioned. That's not who I am and I don't need you. I've survived this long, there's no reason I won't make it twice as long without you." Jasmin said decidedly.

"I'm sure we can talk about this, no need to make decisions without thinking them through." Rick tried to calm the situation down.  
"Oh, I've thought about this. Ever since your wife spewed out that crap about me. If you think I'm going to subject myself to this kind of treatment, you're mistaken. And now that mister high and mighty has spoken and evicted me from this camp, there's nothing else for me to do but go. To think I helped that asshole, just great." Jasmin stated matter-of-factly.  
"We don't need addicts in our camp, that's why you gotta leave." Daryl said hotly.  
"What kind of drugs are we talking about?" Rick wanted to know. Daryl just shook his head, he didn't know what it was, Jasmin hadn't answered his question.  
"Mister doesn't even know what I was smoking." She laughed cruelly then. "It was weed, and you want to know why I smoke it? Because without it, I can't sleep. I had a prescription before the world went to shit so, sue me if I'm not sorry for trying to get a good nights sleep!" She started walking away again, only to be stopped by Daryl again.  
"What, prescription weed? Are you kidding me? That wasn't weed, I know what that smells like."  
"Yeah, well, it smells differently because it doesn't make me high, just helps me sleep. Or should help me sleep anyway, that ship has sailed now."  
Rick chose that moment to interfere again. "Calm down. No one is leaving today. Go to your tents and sleep this off. We will talk about this tomorrow." This was said with finality and the two squabblers walked off after a staring match that was broken up by T-Dog, who dragged Daryl to his tent.

Rick didn't know how he felt about this particular development. He just hoped that somehow, everything would work out in the end because he didn't want the group to lose Jasmin as an ally.


	4. It Ain't Always Easy

It Ain't Always Easy

"What do you want?" She asked, not really in the mood to talk, much less to him.  
Her question was met with silence. Daryl's face was set in a grimace, he really did not want to be there, talking to her was the last thing he wanted to do right now. But Rick was on his case and he knew that the other man was right. Daryl had fucked up, big time – even bigger than with Carol and he knew he had to make this right.  
"Sorry 'bout yesterday." He finally mumbled out, not even looking in Jasmin's direction.  
"Stay away from me," was the only response he got. He then looked at the woman that was currently sprawled out on the slightly off-green grass on the small hill just behind her tent.

A tent that she had moved nearly all the way to the tree line the previous night which meant that she had literally no protection from Walkers that came from the forest. The woman wasn't looking at him, in fact Daryl got the impression that he was being ignored.  
"C'mon, I said I was sorry. What else do ya want?" Daryl attempted again.  
"I want you to leave me the fuck alone and to stay out of my goddamned business. I don't need you blowing up on me every chance you get and I know that's what you do. Saw Carol after your little chat and I don't need your shit." Jasmin spat, adding quietly, like an after-thought, "Carol doesn't either and you know it."  
Daryl didn't know what to do. Rick had made it clear that anything other than forgiveness would mean problems for the group, problems they didn't need. He wasn't good with apologizing, Dixon's did not apologize, period. He grew frustrated, the longer she ignored him, the more he felt like a failure.

Suddenly, he was in her personal space, nearly shoving his face into hers in the process.  
"I'm sorry, now get yer shit up there 'gain cause out here yer Walker food and I ain't go'n be responsible for that."  
"Would be too heavy on your conscience, or what?" Jasmin mocked, not in the mood to make this any easier for the man she barely knew. And she was enjoying herself a bit, seeing him squirm like that.  
"Yes, goddamnit!" He shouted and started pacing in front of her, nearly tearing out his hair because he was tugging at it so sharply.

Jasmin sat up and felt bad for drawing this out so much. She really wanted to stay with the group and she knew that she also had to get along with Daryl for that to happen. There was just something that made her react passionately when she interacted with him. Oh, she didn't want to jump him or something like that – even though even she had to admit that he was good-looking. He really had the rugged look going for him with his torn off sleeves, the vest and that damned crossbow.

"Alright, I'll move back to camp. Now quit pacing like a caged animal. How about a cigarette and we forget this happened?" Jasmin finally offered.  
Daryl stopped pacing abruptly, taking a moment to process what she had said and then sitting Indian style across from her, mutely holding out his hand for the cigarette she offered. Jasmin laughed at that and handed him one, deciding to make a real effort to get along with him, not just tolerate him.

"How about if I ever leave camp, I will leave some cigs for you, huh?" Jasmin offered after taking a couple of drags. Daryl looked at her as if she had grown another head, not understanding her 180 from five minutes ago.  
"Look, I'm sorry. I really want to get along with everyone in this group, you included and since you're always stealing from my cigarettes, I thought I would promise you some as a peace offering, alright?"

Shane, who had been sent to make sure that the two of them were working out their differences, heard that part of their conversation and decided it was save to say that they were working on getting along – he had hoped they wouldn't be able to work it out but it didn't matter. He would get rid of Jasmin another way, maybe on a run. There were plenty of opportunities with the Walkers lurking everywhere.  
He gave Daryl a nod and turned around to tell Rick to quit worrying.

"A'right. I really missed the cigs during these last few months, never took the time look for them." Daryl admitted.  
"Well, if you're that easy to please, you're welcome to mine as long as you keep an eye out for new cigs, tobacco and stuff. I really don't want to run out." Jasmin added, making Daryl like her a lot more just with that one offer.  
"Might even start likin' ya now that yer offerin' cigs and bein' all nice and shit."  
"Yeah well, mind telling me why you blew a gasket when you thought I was smoking something?" Jasmin inquired. And she wasn't just asking to be spiteful, she was really curious. Daryl wasn't really willing to talk about his brother just to any stranger so he kept quiet. He even thought about taking his previous statement back, if he was honest. Why did she have to go and make him regret letting his guard down a bit?

"My brother.." was all he said as an answer.  
"Sorry I asked, really."  
They sat in silence after this, only making comments on something here and then like Daryl pointing out that Before, he had never smoked rolled cigarettes before and that they weren't half-bad.

After they were done smoking, Daryl helped Jasmin get her tent back to camp which was relatively easy as she had only dragged it down the night before and everything was still packed.  
"Thanks for the help." Jasmin said when they were done and Daryl walked away.

* * *

Andrea was still fuming over the conversation she had with Shane while practicing on the moving target. How could he bring up Amy in such a fashion? And then he decided to bestow upon her the mercy of his highness and offered to drive her back to camp as an apology. Well, apology denied. Since then, he had made a overly conscious effort to stay out of her way – and everybody knew it. Even Jasmin, who had only been back at the camp for a few hours.

She was currently on watching duty when Jasmin approached her.  
"Hiya, how's it going up there?" Jasmin inquired curiously.  
"Nothing much, haven't seen a walker all day." She replied.  
"How was target practice? I heard you were doing a pretty good job. Keeping up part of our bargain, huh?" Jasmin ribbed teasingly.  
"It went well until we moved on to a moving target." Andrea admitted, still feeling bummed about the failure.  
"I'm sure you'll get there, it's a lot to take in. Also, there will be more Walkers and plenty chances to practice on them. But what's up with you and Shane? I thought maybe something happened?"  
"He tried to rile me up and mentioned my sister." Andrea bit out.  
"Sorry Andrea, but.. your sister? What happened? Or maybe don't tell me, I don't want to impose.." Jasmin trailed off.

"How about a deal?" Andrea suggested after a few minutes of silence.  
"Deal...?" Jasmin sounded wary. "What kind of deal?"  
"I'll tell you about my sister and you tell me what's up with Daryl and you." Andrea said, laughing.  
"Alright, there isn't much to tell anyways. You start though."  
"My sister, Amy, she died back at the camp near the quarry. Walkers swarmed us and she was near the RV, not by the fires and she was bit. I put her down after she reanimated. After that, I wanted to die and I would have, hadn't it been for Dale."  
"Oh Andrea, I'm sorry I asked. And I'm sorry for your loss. I really am." Jasmin instantly felt bad about asking Andrea to drag her memories back up.  
"It's alright, it's getting better with time. We weren't very close when we grew up, me being much older than her. But this.. apocalypse, it brought us together only to take her away from me again." Andrea was fighting her emotions at this time and Jasmin, not sure what else to do, scooted closer to the other woman and put an arm around her.

After only a few minutes, Andrea was once more composed and was now looking expectantly at Jasmin, waiting to hear the tale of her and Daryl.  
"Well, I don't know what you're expecting. Tell me what you want to know. I'll answer your questions." Jasmin conceded and so the interrogation, as Jasmin would later call it, began.  
"Is it true that you knew Daryl before the dead started walking? That you're his lost girlfriend?" Andrea asked first.  
To that, Jasmin just started laughing, gasping out, "Who said that?"  
"Uh, well Shane but I thought he knew what he was talking about."  
"No, I don't know him, Sophia and I heard him calling for her in the forest and found him after that. No mysterious love story I'm afraid." Jasmin was still laughing at the thought of it. Even if it was possible, why would they treat each other as strangers? If he was her long-lost boyfriend or whatever, she would be all over him and people would definitely know he was hers and she was his.

Andrea asked a lot of ridiculous questions such as "Did you guys hook up and now you're in the awkward after phase?" until she finally outright asked what they had fought about. Jasmin explained the situation, also expressing her slight frustration that Daryl hadn't really answered her question about the drugs.  
"Oh, I can clear that up for you." Andrea offered.  
"Okay, I'm listening." Jasmin thought that maybe if she understood why he didn't elaborate, she wouldn't be as frustrated anymore.  
"It's because of his brother, Merle. He was with us back in Atlanta, a right asshole if you ask me. He had a serious drug problem. Always high on something, racist, sexist – gosh, I really hated him."  
"So he's dead?" Jasmin's voice was filled with dread even though she was pretty sure she would have hated Merle just as much as Andrea obviously did.  
"No, yes, we don't know. Before you ask, I'll explain. On the day we met Rick, Merle got left behind, cuffed to the roof by Rick. That's why there's still tension between them, Daryl thinks that if something goes wrong, he'll get left behind too. At least that's what I think it is. So Daryl keeps his guard up, doesn't really trust us."

"Anyway, they went back for him the next day, when they told Daryl what happened. He was distraught. Never seen him like this before. And when they got back, the camp was overrun by Walkers and Amy died so I didn't care but as far as I know, Merle cut off his hand and went off. That's all Daryl knows." Andrea finished the story somberly.  
"Whoa, wait! He cut off his **whole** hand? Because of the handcuffs or what? Why didn't he just cut off his thumb? How can you survive that much bleeding?" Jasmin was flabbergasted.  
"He uhh cauterized the stump."  
"Fuck, that's hardcore. Ugh, and nasty as fuck. Let's talk about something else. How did Carol and Sophia do at target practice?"

Jasmin and Rick had been able to convince Carol to both join and let Sophia learn how to shoot in order to make sure that if things got tough, they knew how to defend themselves. Carol still didn't want Sophia to have a gun and that choice was accepted by the group even though Shane had questioned it after Carl was allowed to have his gun.

"They did okay as far as I can tell. I think Carol still doesn't like the idea much but she sees the logic and therefore tries to learn." Andrea stated.

* * *

After his somewhat successful conversation with Jasmin, Daryl had decided that he would somehow make it up to Carol for being rude to her. He just didn't know how. Hell, this morning was the first time he apologized to someone in ages. He couldn't even remember the last time he did apologize for something.  
But when he saw Sophia and Carol sitting near camp,folding laundry, he just decided to pretend as if nothing had happened.  
"Ya need help or somethin'?" He wanted to know.  
"Hey Daryl! We're nearly done, what are you doing?" Sophia was instantly happy to see Daryl, she really liked him but she also knew that he had made her mama sad. She hoped he wouldn't do that again.  
"Nothin'." He said and sat down next to Carol, though not too close. Carol was quiet through the exchange and when he looked at her, she understood. She understood that he wasn't a man of a lot of words and that he had lashed out because he didn't know how to deal with her. She understood that he was sorry but didn't know how to say it.

She smiled at him and hoped that he would understand that they were okay. His shoulders relaxed a fraction and the three of them continued sitting together as Sophia chattered on about one ting or another. Carol was just thankful that she had her daughter back and Daryl wondered if maybe, he had found a friend in Carol, someone he didn't have to keep his guard up around he whole time.  
It wasn't easy for him to trust people and it was even more difficult for him to get along with them. It had been him, Merle and their old man for so long that he had forgotten how to interact with people again. It had been some time since Merle had gone missing, but more often than not, Daryl found himself lost in a situation. Not knowing how to deal with something, or better someone had him so uncomfortable that he just wanted to run.

And run he did. He had nearly run from Jasmin when she had asked the question about drugs. He didn't want to talk about Merle but he also knew that she was right, everyone in camp knew her dark history. And he couldn't even man up enough to tell her that his brother's drug problem had cost him his hand and that Daryl hated everything connected with drugs. He just threw her a snippet and she had apologized for asking. She! As if she had anything to apologize for. There was nothing she had done wrong. _Nothing_.  
He's gonna tell her, he decided. Somehow, he thought she would understand.

* * *

That evening, around the campfire, the group once again discussed what should be done about the Walkers in the barn. Shane was insisting on killing them, not caring what it meant for the group as a whole – that maybe they would have to leave then.  
Jasmin decided to clear things up for him again. "Don't you understand that we're relatively save here? The barn is secure and we're having someone on watch at all times. We need Hershel for Lori!" Not that she liked Lori very much, but she could still see that without the vet, her chances of surviving this pregnancy were slim to none.  
"What do you know about it, pretending you're one of us now! Just yesterday you wanted to walk out on us, again! Let me remind you of that! You have no say here." Shane rebuffed her cruelly.  
"C'mon man, she's one of us now, saved Sophia." Daryl said but Shane was having none of it.  
"No thanks to you, right? If it wasn't for her, Sophia would be dead and you still wouldn't know. She'd probably would have run in the other direction had she seen you, all meth-ed out and looking like the hillbilly you are" Shane shouted and Daryl jumped up about midway through Shane's speech, ready to rip out his tongue for talking shit about him but somehow, the others were successful in keeping them apart.  
"You know I'm right and now she's your bitch that you can't even control!" Shane added and laughing maliciously, at least until Jasmin socked him right in the stomach.

"I don't know what your fucking problem is so pipe the fuck down alright? You have no business spouting off shit like that so keep your mouth shut. Is it not enough for you to start rumors, nope, Shane has to go and shove his false little stories down everyone's throat. For god's sake you're like an old lady." Jasmin went off. She had enough of that guy getting all up in everyone's business, spouting off false things about her and being hostile to everyone. She hadn't forgotten what Andrea had told her either. Shane was the kind of guy that used all his knowledge of you to hurt you, to tear you down but she wouldn't have it. She went through more than just that and she would kick his ass if he kept doing shit like that.

"Everyone calm down! Shane that was below the damn line and you know it." Rick interfered, once again trying to calm the situation down.  
"I'm outta here, go fuck yourselves" Daryl announced. It was clear that he was pissed off and needed space to calm down.  
Jasmin called, "Hey, take this!"  
As he turned around, she threw him a small metal box which he caught easily enough and then continued to walk away.

"What did you give him, drugs or what?" Shane once again accused, clearly not minding his own business as she had told him to do.  
"No, I didn't, I didn't hear rattling, did you?" Jasmin bit out and turned around to leave too but Rick was in her way, demanding an answer.  
"Those were the fucking cigarettes, alright? Do I look like an addict to you people, huh?" Jasmin was on her last nerve and would have exploded right then and there had Carol not decided in that moment to say something.  
"All we do is fight, we should be happy we're alive and that Sophia is back. But we're all in each others hair!"  
"I'm going to calm down and we can talk about this like civilized people tomorrow. I'll take the second watch tonight as planned." Jasmin said and walked away in the same direction as Daryl.

Once she caught up to him, she held out her hand for her box. He handed it to her wordlessly and waited until she had taken a couple of drags.  
Then he said, "Sorry 'bout that."  
"What, why? You didn't do anything. That asshole Shane is the one who should apologize!" Jasmin was still riled up from the fight.  
"Nah, 'cause everyone thinks we're screwin' 'round."  
"It's only Shane that thinks that and now everyone knows it's bullshit."  
"Yeah, 'cause you just went to be on yer own, huh? Nah, went after good ol' me. They gonna talk."  
"So let them talk, it doesn't matter. Even if it was true it wouldn't be their business. No one cares about Glenn and Maggie either."  
"'Cause Glenn's a good guy."  
"And you aren't or what? Because if that's what you think, well you're wrong. You're just as good as Rick, as far as I'm concerned. And I know Carol thinks so too so don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about." Jasmin declared rather passionately. "Without you I probably would have bled out when I got shot and then they wouldn't have let me stay either. Don't think I've forgotten that."  
"'nd then I nearly drove ya out."  
"Because you thought I was a danger to the group. What you did would have been the right thing, had I been an addict. It's just the way you do things that might make them look bad but I know people like you. You get things done, even the things no one wants to do. So don't tell me you're a bad guy."

Daryl stood speechless after that. No one had ever said such things about him other than Carol and she had to say those things because he went looking for Sophia..

"Merle.. my brother.." Daryl started. He felt like he owed Jasmin an explanation or something. Anything for what she had just said.  
"Daryl, hey, I hope you're not mad about this, but Andrea already told me. Don't do this because you think you have to tell me this." Jasmin interrupted him.  
Daryl just once again dropped himself to the floor, sitting cross-legged and looked up at Jasmin expectantly.  
"Merle, he was deep in the shit with the drugs – hell he couldn't even stop when the world went ta shit. But he's ma brother and when he wasn't there anymore.. He's blood, ya kno? He wasn't even that great of a brother, in'n'out of juvie and prison all the time but I wonder."  
"Hell, I can't say I know what you mean. You know that I left my family behind, what was left of it anyways but what I know that is that it's hard to let go of the good things a person did even if they messed up a lot. You don't know where he is now, just hold out hope that he's alive. Andrea told me that he was tough, so chances are he's still out there." Jasmin tried to encourage him even though she wasn't sure if that was what Daryl wanted.

"Thanks, ya know but truth is, he left me b'hind. He knew I was at the camp and he didn't even come lookin' so who cares. Just sucks that he's gone."  
Jasmin didn't know what to do or say to make it better so she just offered him another cigarette. After a while, she said, "I don't know if that makes a difference to you but I think you have other people here that care about you. Carol, Sophia, Andrea and Glenn. I don't know about the others but I'm sure with them. They care and I know you care about them – hell you said you cared about me and you certainly don't have to do that." She laughed at that.

They sat out there for a while after that, just enjoying the quiet after the noise of the fight and their talk. Somehow they knew that they could count on each other after that evening. That if something happened, they would have each other's backs.

When Jasmin left for watch, she said, "And don't think that you're ever going to get that box. That one is mine and I love if with all my heart. My sister gave that to me. You'll get another one." She winked and was gone. Daryl kept sitting there for a while before he finally went into his tent to rest until it was his turn to watch.

* * *

The next morning, Shane was nowhere to be seen so the group just went about their business as normal with Carol and Lori preparing a breakfast of eggs and fruit for everyone.

The day passed quietly after that until Andrea found the RV without anyone having a lookout for Walkers even though it was Dale's turn. She grew suspicious instantly because Dale was usually very reliable. When she saw Jasmin walking by, she asked the woman if she had seen the missing man but the answer was negative.

After a while, Jasmin came back to have another chat with Andrea while keeping an eye out for both Dale and any Walkers that might come across the Greene property. They saw Glenn approach the RV and waited for him to reach them.  
"Hey, where is Dale? Have you seen him? He asked me for water." He asked.  
"No, I just took over watch when I saw no one was here. Just leave it in the RV for him." Andrea instructed, thinking that when Dale came back, he would probably want the water to be there.

Just a few minutes after Glenn left, Shane went into the RV, only to come out looking ready to kill someone.  
"Where the hell is Dale?" He snapped.  
"We don't know. Why don't you just wait for him here?" Jasmin suggested with a bite in her voice. She just didn't like the guy and he seemed very pissed off at the moment. She'd rather keep an eye on him if he was in that kind of mood.  
Shane didn't agree with that plan and just walked off into the trees.

* * *

Andrea and Jasmin continued to keep watch together that day. They told Rick they would keep an eye out when he went with Hershel and Jimmy. That had been quite a while ago.

They saw Shane walk out of the forest with a bag, still looking ready to kill. They quickly got off the RV and ran to catch up with him. They reached him and the others, who were on the patio of the house and in front of it, the kids having received another lesson from Lori, Glenn and Maggie apparently talking quietly among themselves and Daryl and Carol had obviously been somewhere together as they arrived just before the women.

Shane started handing out guns to Glenn, T-Dog, Carol and Daryl. Lori interrupted Shane by telling him that killing the Walkers in the barn and handing out the weapons was not his call to make but she was interrupted by T-Dog, who had just spotted Rick, Jimmy and Hershel leading Walkers to the barn.

Shane ran up to them and shot one of the Walkers repeatedly, seemingly finally getting the point across to Hershel that the Walkers were dead, that they weren't people at all. Before running up to forcefully opening the barn, Shane shouted, " Enough, risking our lives for a little girl we had no idea where to look for! Enough, living on a farm next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us! Enough, letting strangers stay with us! Enough! Rick, it ain't like it was before. If you all wanna live, if you don't wanna die, well you gotta fight for it! You gotta fight! Right here, right now!"

What followed was, in short, a massacre in Hershel's eyes. Every Walker that was in the barn was put down by the group, the mothers shielding their children from the spectacle. When Beth was nearly killed by the Walker that was formerly her mother, everyone's nerves went down the drain, if they weren't before.

Hershel clearly had enough of the group as he ordered them to leave by evening, mainly targeting Shane. Anther fight broke out, Shane still feeling righteous in his behavior and most of the members of the group feeling pissed at him for forcing their hands like that. When he opened the barn, they had no other choice but to shoot, whether they wanted to or not.

Daryl pretty much summed up everyone's feelings when he kicked at the ground, swearing like a sailor.

* * *

And yes, that was a reference to Jenna Marbles. *laughs*


	5. Trouble and Cigarettes

Hello once again,  
thank you for all the follows, favorites and most of all, the reviews!  
They mean a lot and I appreciate that you took the time to write something.  
I hope you like this chapter!

WARNING: Talk of suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts! I marked the passage like this /*** so you can skip it if this triggers you or you don't want to read it.

* * *

Trouble and Cigarettes

The group helped the Greene family bury their dead because they knew how they must be feeling. They also knew that they came very close to losing Sophia and they were thankful that they had not.

When Hershel was gone the next time Rick wanted to talk to him, it was decided that some of them would go after him even though not everyone agreed with that decision – namely Lori and Shane. They thought that the group should not risk their lives for others all the time. In the end, they were overruled, but the tension within the group was steadily rising. And everyone knew it.

* * *

Jasmin, Daryl, Carol and Sophia were currently sitting together, Daryl making new bolts for his crossbow while the three others talked, Daryl only listening. As soon as Lori walked up to them, everyone stopped talking.  
"You have to go after them, they're still not back and Beth needs Hershel. She's burning up and still not reacting!" Lori all but commanded, which Daryl in turn did not like at all.  
"They went window-shopping. If you want him, go fetch him yourself! I got better things to do." Daryl spat at her.  
"Better things? Why would you be so selfish?"  
"You want those two idiots, have a nice ride. I'm done looking fer people and I ain't listening to Shane's girlfriend." For Daryl, this conversation was clearly over.  
As Lori turned her back on Daryl, Jasmin sat up and shouted for her to wait.  
"I'm coming with you but I can't go alone. You can't either. Let's go." With that, she went after the woman. Jasmin wouldn't let Lori go out there alone. Who knew where that group was that they hadn't done anything about yet.

* * *

"You know, you really shouldn't be looking at that map when you're driving!" Jasmin said exasperatedly. Once again, she was nearly instantly regretting one of her decisions. Why had she gone with Lori again? Ah yeah, pregnant lady out alone with a group of rapists and murderers on the go.  
Lori looked at Jasmin, rolling her eyes at the woman. At first she had been glad that the other woman had decided to come with her but now she wasn't so sure anymore. As if she couldn't drive a car down a deserted road.

But just as Lori was done with that thought, Jasmin shouted to look out and they half swerved, half crashed into a Walker, the car doing two somersaults and then landing on the side. The two women inside were unconscious.

* * *

While Rick, Glenn and Hershel were busy fighting the hostile group at the bar, Daryl and Carol grew restless when they realized that Lori and Jasmin hadn't come back yet. When Shane realized, he blew another gasket and just left in another car.  
He found the car while a Walker tried to get inside through the windshield. He took it out with his gun and then peered inside. Sure enough, Lori and Jasmin were in there, both unconscious but other than that, they seemed fine. He tried to rouse them but there was no reaction from either one of them.

Shane recognized a good opportunity when he saw one, which is why he first got Jasmin out of the car. He struggled only a bit because for one, he was a strong man and two, Jasmin was not that heavy as she had a slender figure. He dragged her body into the woods a bit so that she wasn't visible from the street and just left her there. He hoped a Walker would stumble upon her and he would get rid of her without really making his hands dirty. Afterward, he went to retrieve Lori, who was just waking up so he played up his arrival, pretending to have just gotten there.  
"Lori, oh god, you're alright! Come on, we gotta get you out of here!"  
"What.. what happened? Where's Jasmin?" Lori asked, still disoriented.  
"She wasn't in here when I got here, you sure she was with you?"  
"Yes, we, I was looking at her and not the road and we crashed."  
"Well, she's not here so that means she just left you here, the stupid bitch." Shane spat. His emotions were true which means that his acting was really good and Lori instantly believed that Jasmin abandoning her was the only viable explanation for her disappearance.

They left after Lori retrieved her gun and the map, driving back to the farm without finding Rick and the other men and leaving Jasmin lying in the woods.

* * *

It took the group a while to realize that Jasmin wasn't with Shane and Lori because they just assumed she went off somewhere after they came back. No one knew what to do about it though as night had already fallen and it was too dangerous to venture out then.

When the men finally did make it back by sunrise, they told the tale of how they came into contact with the group Jasmin had warned them about when they first met her, telling them of the shoot out and how they witnessed the painful death of one of their men. He had looked relatively young but when he had jumped from the roof he had been shooting from, he had slipped and landed on a fence, piercing his stomach in the fall. They had warded off the Walkers for as long as they could but in the end, he would have bled out one way or another so they left him for dead. It had taken them a while to get back to the farm because all the noise had attracted a lot of Walkers to the immediate surroundings.

Carol's stomach twisted when she thought about Jasmin being out there alone. Daryl had gotten back from his round around the perimeter just in time to hear the story of the kid's death, shaking his head at Carol to let her know that there was still no sign of Jasmin.  
"Man, we gotta go out there'n look fer Jasmin. She won't survive long on her own without much of a weapon!" Daryl suggested.  
"And why? She left Lori in the car, who knows what she was thinking? She might as well be working with those assholes from the town!" Shane immediately wanted to nip that idea in the bud.  
"Ain't talkin' to you, asshole." was Daryl's only response. He then looked expectantly at Rick.

But he was to be disappointed.  
"We can't go out there again. We killed four of their men yesterday, I think they're out for revenge and I need every single one of you here if it comes to that!" Rick had already decided and Daryl had to concede that the ex-cop had a point but that didn't mean he had to like it.  
"So we just leave her out there for dead?" Carol couldn't believe it.  
"We don't know what happened, maybe she doesn't even want to be found. Maybe she left on her own accord." Rick tried to argue but it was mainly to placate Carol.  
"Yeah and left all her shit here for us to take. No way in hell. She ain't stupid. Damn, she went with yer wife so the woman wouldn't be alone!" Daryl tried to argue once more but when Rick shook his head, he knew there was no way Rick would let him go look for her.

* * *

The day wasn't pleasant for any occupant of the farm as tensions were rising with the renewed threat of the strangers, Shane antagonizing Hershel and Jasmin missing. It was getting dark when Glenn spotted something moving towards the farm from the treeline. When he looked through the binoculars, he saw that the figure was tiredly waving its arm.  
"I think Jasmin is coming!" He shouted toward the campsite. Rick, Shane and Daryl ran forward in order to check if it was really her and if so, to greet her.

Jasmin's mood was far from peachy. When she had woken up in the forest, she knew instantly that something wasn't the way it was supposed to be and when she remembered the crash, she knew why. Why was she in the forest, nowhere near the damned road?  
Getting back to the farm hadn't been an easy task either because she had no water and she thought she either hit her head pretty badly or she might even have a concussion from the way her vision seemed to grow unfocused at times.

"Where the hell is Lori? I'm going to kick her fucking ass! Mind telling me why I woke up alone in the forest, huh?" She greeted the men before they could say anything.  
"What do you mean you woke up in the forest?" Rick asked.  
"Are you freaking deaf or something? I. Woke. Up. Alone. In. The. Forest. After. Your. Wife. Had. An. Accident! Damn, never driving with her ever again. That road was nearly empty to begin with." At that, Jasmin threw her hand up exasperatedly.  
"So.. you telling me that you didn't abandon Lori in the car when the Walker came?"  
"Wait what? Walker? Is she okay?"  
"Yes but she was alone when you went with her. So what the hell happened?" Rick was on his last nerve, no one endangered his wife and unborn child.  
"Hell if I know. I just told you what happened. Can I sit down now or is the Spanish Inquisition not over yet?"

While they had talked, they had reached the camp and if one would take a closer look at Jasmin, one would see that she looked dead on her feet from walking and fighting off the dead the whole day.  
"You know what, just leave me be. Seems to me like I wasn't even important enough to come looking for." Jasmin said before walking to her tent and closing it behind herself.  
The members of the group looked at each other, no one knowing what to do to make it up to her or to even make sense of the situation.  
"I'd be pissed too if I was her" T-Dog said and that seemed to be the last of what was said that evening about the situation.

* * *

The next few days were quiet but tense. Jasmin had been informed of what happened in town by Carol when the woman brought the other food and water. No one aside from Carol had talked to her much as she was keeping to herself, only interacting with Daryl if the man wanted a cigarette. If Jasmin was honest, she was a bit hurt that he hadn't even made an effort to find her. She knew that she wasn't that popular within the group as she was the 'new one', her main allies being Carol and Sophia, Daryl and Andrea but still, she thought the others at least liked her too (except for Shane and Lori maybe).

But what really had her on edge was that she still did not know how she had gotten into the woods when she had been in the car right next to Lori. Lori, who had been retrieved directly from the car by Shane. Of course she had thought about the possibility of Shane having something to do with it but she had dismissed it again, he couldn't hate her that much, could he?  
It was no matter one way or the other. She had no proof and even though Shane had made some reckless decisions lately, he was still an integral part of the group – much more so than Jasmin was. And she knew that.

Daryl on the other hand just wanted her to know that he had wanted to go looking for her but hadn't been given any backup. And even he wasn't save when the woods were swarming with Walkers. He approached her on the third day since she came back when she was sitting upon the same hill where he had first apologized to her.  
"Rick wouldn't send anyone else out with me. Woulda been a suicide mission alone." He said without preamble.  
"Yeah whatever. It wasn't any less dangerous for me, thank you very much. And if you weren't such a jackass, this wouldn't have happened in the first place." Jasmin answered without any emotion in her voice.  
"The hell you talkin' 'bout?"  
"If you had just gone looking for Rick as Lori asked, nothing would have happened. You could have taken down some more of those motherfuckers even."  
"Didn't happen, no need ta think 'bout it. Just move on already, we got bigger problems." Daryl finally said. "Like Shane, that asshole. Somethin' up with him. Prolly thinks Lori's spawn's his."  
"Whoa, wait a minute, why would he think that?"  
"They were screwin' round back when Rick was 'dead'." The word dead seeped with sarcasm.  
"Are you serious?"  
"Sure am, saw them too. Wasn't pretty." Daryl said, smirking because he managed to insult both Lori and Shane with only two words.

Jasmin said quietly after that, processing the new information.  
"Do you think it would be possible that Shane left me in the woods when Lori and I had the accident?"  
"Dunno, wouldn't put it past him. But why?"  
"Hell if I know. I'm just wondering how I ended up in the woods when I was in the car with Lori."  
"Dunno, keep an eye open. Never know what tha son of a bitch is plannin'."

/***

They sat quietly after that, each thinking to themselves until Jasmin spoke up.  
"You know, I can sympathize with Beth."  
"You wanna kill yourself? Why not just let a Walker bit you on yer way back then?" Daryl seemed pissed at her admission.  
"No, you idiot. I know what it feels like, that's what I'm saying. I'm only here thanks to modern medicine." Jasmin teased Daryl lightly, only to grow solemn once more.  
"Ya serious?" Daryl didn't know what to say. He had never wanted to kill himself – others yes, often, but never himself.  
Jasmin raised her left arm as a way of explanation, pointing out a rather high scar beneath her tattoos.  
"I did that when I was in the hospital. I was just well enough to sit up and they told me that my sister had killed herself while I was kidnapped. And I.. well I just didn't want to live anymore. Everything hurt and there was just nothing to fight for. So I ripped away the bandages that already covered my arm and cut open my vein. I was lucky a nurse arrived just as I was done and that my tight arm had been broken so I couldn't really cut there." She looked away then, trying once more to fight off the memories of her past.

"Won't lie to ya, never wanted to do that shit, beat people up instead. But ya came out'a it, stronger." Daryl answered after a while.  
"Thanks. And you know what? Some people might think that my scars are weakness but that isn't the case. I've thought about the scars a long time, have done so even before I was kidnapped. And I think that 'scars are not injuries. A scar is a healing. After injury, a scar is what makes you whole.' You know, while they might show what happened to you, they don't show who you are – who I am. I'm a person with a lot of scars, so many of them, but I am not a scar, I'm whole again, I've healed." And then, she smiled. Daryl didn't know what to say, he'd always thought of scars differently. They were reminders to him, they made him who he was. They showed his shame, that he wasn't enough.  
"And nothing will ever make me believe something else. There's nothing you or anyone else could say that would change my mind. _Nothing_. And you should know that."

/***

Daryl sat there, paralyzed. If she was saying what he thought she was saying.. No. She couldn't have seen them. When? And then he remembered, the fall down the ravine, her and Sophia finding him, her helping him staunch the bleeding.  
He sat rigid for a long while, Jasmin waiting for him to either say something or for him to leave – she had said enough. She hadn't even wanted to bring up his scars, it had just kind of slipped out because she felt so passionate about the topic.

They had another cigarette before Daryl spoke. "My daddy was a mean fucker. Used ta beat me'n Merle 'n when Merle left, it only got worse. He liked the belt a whole fuckin' lot. Only stopped once I left. Used to say that I was useless and stuff.." he trailed off.  
"And now you're here, alive in the apocalypse. You survived what he did to you. That's all that matters, that he didn't destroy you even though he fucking wanted to. You won." She smiled at him again, her eyes shining – not with pity as he suspected they would – but with pride and something that might have been the beginnings of love, had he known what to look for.  
"You're a damned good man, Carol said so too. You protect the group, feed us. You may have scars, but they don't define you. I doesn't matter how you grew up, what matters is who you are now."  
Daryl felt as if he had just emptied himself out even though he had only said a few sentences. He looked back at Jasmin, inclining his head just a fraction as thanks and to let her know that he had actually listened to her.

Just then, Rick and Shane came back from their run. They had gone looking for gas and winter supplies, or that had been the plan at least, as it didn't look like they had brought a whole lot of stuff. Jasmin and Daryl stood up and when Jasmin passed him, she squeezed his arm in a demonstration of comfort. Daryl was surprised by the gesture but tried not to let it show.  
She said quietly "Your story is safe with me. I hope mine is too."  
They then went towards the car and the others to greet the men.

* * *

The plan had been to get supplies for winter, gas and to scavenge everything that could be of use for the group. They had hoped to find another pharmacy so they could look for any medical supplies they might need, maybe even things that Lori or later the baby could use.  
But Rick hadn't expected Shane to act as he did. At first, everything went smoothly but then, they got into an argument about how to keep the group and especially Carl and Lori save. They had started fighting, no one really having the upper hand until Shane threw a huge metal tool at Rick. He missed but instead hit a window that shattered. Through that window came Walkers and the fight between friends quickly escalated into a fight for life and death.

When both men made it back to the car, they drove off, not talking the whole way back. They got back and Lori was immediately all over Rick.  
"What happened? Are you okay?" She shrieked.  
"Ran into trouble with Walkers. We have a few supplies in the car, let's just get them out and sorted."  
Shane meanwhile just walked off, looking extremely pissed once more. It seemed like angry was his default emotion nowadays.

Daryl and Jasmin, who had arrived together, just looked at each other, Jasmin raising an eyebrow to convey that she didn't believe the men's story one bit. Daryl apparently agreed with her but they both refrained from commenting.

* * *

I used a quote in this chapter. It is obviously not mine.  
_"Scars are not injuries, Tanner Sack. A scar is a healing. After injury, a scar is what makes you whole." _  
― China Mieville, The Scar


	6. 181 Days

Surpirse, another chapter!

I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. We're really getting into the plot now. Thehee.  
Leave a review, it would seriously make my day!

Oh.. and character death!

* * *

181 Days

Rick was thrown. He hadn't ever anticipated that his best friend, his brother for nearly all intents and purposes, would turn against him – try to kill him even. And if that wasn't enough, Rick was also sure that Lori and Shane had an affair when they thought he was dead. What he didn't know was whether they were still together whenever he was elsewhere and if he was honest, he didn't want to know either. He couldn't even be sure if the baby was even his.  
And now Lori had told him that he should somehow get rid of Shane. He reckoned that meant that they weren't together anymore but how could he be sure? She had said that Shane was a liability that they had to get rid of as soon as possible, that he was a danger to the baby. That he was crazy, scaring people, out of control. And he had to admit that she was right. Shane was out of control, so much so that five days ago, he had tried to kill him only to never speak of it again.

* * *

The kids of the camp were bored, to put it lightly. There wasn't much they were allowed to do as Sophia still couldn't walk and Carl was being watched by Lori like a hawk because of his still healing gun wound. The only constant they had were their lesson and which child would look forward to that?

Sophia even enjoyed them to a certain extent but she had cabin fever. She was more than glad when she saw Jasmin walk up to her to spend some time together. The two really had bonded a lot, not only while they were walking through the forest but also afterward as Jasmin always took the time to sit with her, talk and play child games that Carl deemed too boring because they didn't include running around or someone viciously dying.

Carl didn't really like the new woman, she looked frightening and she wasn't very nice to him. She had never brought him a cookie, that was for sure and he knew for a fact that Sophia had gotten two of them from Jasmin. TWO. He also had gotten cookies, just as everyone else, but Sophia had gotten more cookies than him and he wasn't okay with that.  
He was still friends with Sophia of course but Jasmin he didn't like. So when she came that day to talk to Sophia, he decided to go look for an adventure. He would make rounds just as his father always did, to check the perimeter sounded like fun to the young boy. When he passed Daryl's motorbike, curiosity got the better of him. He had heard the grownups talk about Daryl's bags as if they had lots of dangerous and exciting stuff in them. That was exactly what Carl needed right now.

He looked around to make sure no one saw him and then looked through the bags, finding a lot of cool stuff like knifes, ammo and the most beautiful shiny black gun Carl had even seen. He couldn't just put it back inside the bag. He tucked it into his jeans, hiding it from view and went off.

* * *

Carol soon came back from doing laundry to find Jasmin talking to Sophia and decided to join them. She had gotten to know the woman pretty well and considered her a friend. Carol was also sure that there was something going on between Daryl and her, not that she would ever voice those suspicions. She knew them both well enough to know that if that really was the case, any comments would only drive them away from each other. So she would stay quiet and observe. She left them again when it was time to prepare lunch, sure that Jasmin would keep Sophia company until after lunch, when the woman had to take watch.

Daryl had been out hunting and checking the surroundings of the farm all morning. He hadn't encountered a lot of Walkers and very little game. He had killed both and was currently carrying three rabbits and four squirrels back to the farm. In the middle of their camp he could see Sophia and Jasmin talking, Andrea once again taking over watch duty. He walked up to the two, planning on gutting and skinning his kills near them so he could listen to their conversation.

He and Jasmin had talked the last few days. He found that after getting the story of his abusive childhood out in the open, it got easier to talk to her – if that was because he didn't have to watch himself anymore not to accidentally say something he didn't want to explain or not; he didn't care. She was also quite funny and talking to her over cigarettes just became second nature to him.

"Do you have to do this where we can see it?" Sophia asked Daryl when he was just about to cut open the first squirrel.  
"Well, ya squeamish or somethin'?" He asked, laughing.  
"It's nasty!" The girl squeaked as he made the first cut to let it bleed out.  
Daryl then looked at Jasmin as if he wanted her to tell Sophia to stop being so fussy but she wasn't saying anything, even after she caught his look.  
"What, ya too?"  
"I'll have you know that before all this happened, I was a freaking vegetarian. But no, I can deal with it and I know how to do it too. Just don't like it too much." Jasmin said as Daryl looked at her as if she had grown a second head.  
"Vegewhat?" He sputtered.  
"Vegetarian. You know, not eating meat and fish?" Jasmin didn't think that Daryl actually didn't know what it meant.  
"Why? Meat's hella delicious!" Daryl was flabbergasted, why would anyone not want to eat meat?

"Can we please not have this discussion now, Daryl? I'm not a vegetarian anymore so I don't want to have this discussion again. I've had it for what feels like thousands of times already. Times have changed and I've started eating meat again when I had to eat what I could get so don't get your panties all in a bundle." At the end, she winked at him to let him know that she wasn't actually insulting him and he huffed.  
"Still don't understand." He said, shaking his head.  
"You don't have to. It was a personal choice. But you know what? Why don't you teach Sophia how to skin and gut animals? It could be useful in the future!" Jasmin suggested to which Daryl gave his assent. Sophia was convinced by Jasmin and even though she still didn't like it much, she let Daryl drag the rabbits and squirrels over and explain how they needed to be handled.

Gradually, the members of the group trickled to the middle of camp for lunch and when Daryl and Sophia were done, Jasmin decided to carry the meat inside and help Carol and Lori carry the food outside. When she stood up to do so, Daryl had to keep himself in check not to show any emotion on his face because he previously hadn't realized that Jasmin did not wear her standard jeans that day but rather a pair of shorts that showed much of her legs – legs that were more shapely than he had thought and now he knew that her legs were covered in tattoos too. Damn, he hadn't thought that was the case. He wanted to look at the artwork but maybe he just wanted to stare at her legs, he wasn't really sure.

It seemed as if Daryl wasn't the only one to note that her legs were just as unique as the rest of her seemed to be and Shane quietly thought to himself that if she wasn't such a pain in his ass, he'd actually be quite willing to tap hers. But she was a damn bitch and he had Lori anyways, or he would have her again if everything went according to plan.  
Dale saw Shane leering after Jasmin, not liking the man's look one bit. At first it had been pure lust but as he had looked on, it had changed into malicious glee. He'd been wary of the man for a while now, especially after the gun incident but he hadn't been aware that Shane also had his designs on the new woman, whatever they were.

To Daryl's shame, he found himself imagining what he would do when those legs were wound tight around him. He was only shaken out of it when Lori handed him his lunch without so much as a look. While he ate, he berated himself for thinking of her like that. Even if she was interested, they were in the damned apocalypse, there was no time for screwing around.

Jasmin meanwhile was trying not to smirk. It seemed to have gotten his attention, just as she had hoped it would. She liked Daryl, a lot if she was honest. They had gotten closer in the last few days and she liked what he allowed her to see of his personality. He was raw, rude but honest most of the time but he was also good, not to mention damned hot. They lived in the apocalypse so she wasn't going to deny herself this. If she wanted to flirt and maybe more with Daryl – well she would do just that. She felt like every moment counted and she wasn't going to waste time by telling herself that it was inappropriate.

* * *

After lunch, Jasmin took up station on top of the RV where she could pretty much see where everyone went off to. Lori and Andrea went into the house, Shane went to god-knows-where, Dale seemingly hot on his heels, Rick went for another round around the perimeter and Carol gave Sophia and Carl another lecture. T-Dog and Glenn went off to find Hershel in order to help him with the hay they were bringing in for winter. Daryl went to get rid of the things left over from his kills and then went straight for the RV, intending to have an after-lunch cigarette with Jasmin. When he reached the top, Jasmin immediately pointed her finger into the distance where she saw Dale and Shane having a rather animated discussion.  
"He always been like that?" Jasmin asked.  
"Who? Dale getting in everyone's business or Shane bein' a lunatic asshole?"  
"Both actually."  
"Dale yeah, at first Shane was only an ass, lunatic came after Rick returned." Daryl clarified.  
"And now he's trying to get rid of Rick and maybe me. Hallelujah." Jasmin quipped, not knowing whether she actually thought the matter was funny.

"Gimme a cigarette, woman. Don't got all day." With that, he held out his hand until Jasmin had gotten the metal box out of her back pocket and handed him a cigarette. After he had lit his with his lighter, he handed it to Jasmin so she could use it too.  
"I think you're only using me for cigarettes." Jasmin pouted, her face looking sad. Daryl was confused. Was she joking? Was she serious? He hadn't been on a run since she had joined the group so he had no way of contributing but she had offered in the first place, hadn't she?  
"Ya don't gotta give me no more.." he started but he was interrupted by Jasmin bursting into laughter. Daryl's defenses were immediately up. He didn't like it when people made fun of him, confused him like that. A scowl replaced his calm expression and when Jasmin finally stopped laughing, she caught on.  
"Oh come on, let me poke a little bit of fun. Your face was just priceless, I couldn't resist." She tried to placate him but Daryl's face showed no change. She got up and stood beside him, looking where he was looking, giving him a minute of quietness.

She finally decided that he had sulked enough and lightly elbowed him into his side.  
"C'mon, grumpy. You know I didn't mean anything by it. Now talk to me again."  
Daryl looked at her then, his scowl still in place and it discouraged Jasmin so that she started walking back to the camping chair to sit down again. As soon as she turned her back on him, Daryl belted out a laugh.  
"Yer just as easy ta tease." He declared and now it was Jasmin's turn to scowl lightly at him. After a few seconds, she laughed again.  
"Never though I'd see the day when the frightening Daryl Dixon pretended to be insulted just to poke fun at someone."  
"If ya ask Carl, yer the frightening one. Heard him talking to his momma, complained 'bout ya." Daryl said, half teasing still, half serious because they both knew that Lori didn't need more reasons to hate Jasmin.  
"Huh, well good thing I don't like him either, spoiled brat."

Jasmin threw her hair over her left shoulder then as an act of blasé indifference but Daryl was distracted by the tattoo that was now visible on her shoulder blade. It was the number 181, but it looked as if it was torn open flesh, a fresh wound, still bleeding. It was a work of art and Daryl wanted to know what it meant. He touched the tattoo, feeling that the numbers somehow hid scars beneath their color and Jasmin jumped.  
"What's it mean?" he asked.  
"I was with him for 181 days and that right there, it's the visualization that it will always hurt, but that I made it my own. It's no longer him that holds power over me, but I do because I took what he did and made it my own. I drew that and Las did the tat for me." While she spoke, Daryl didn't take his hand from her shoulder, somehow both giving her strength to tell the story and reassuring himself that she was there. He still had a hard time imagining what she had gone through and survived that.  
"I miss Las, it's short for Nicolas. He was never one to be ordinary.. wonder if he's still alive." Jasmin continued. "He was the owner of the tat shop I started working in when I came to New York. Her was my best friend and he made my sketches into reality where I couldn't do it myself." She smiled fondly at the memory of her friend.

Daryl huffed, clearly unhappy with having brought up such a negative topic. Jasmin reached up, touching his hand quickly with hers and turned around.  
"I'm not that breakable, you know? I won't cry every time I think about it. I'm strong." She said with a wink.  
With another huff and without a word spoken since he asked what her tattoo was about, he drew her into an embrace. It was awkward at first, Jasmin not anticipating it but when she hugged him back, a lot of tension left his shoulders – he had thought she would shove him away or something equally as dismissing. Daryl had only ever hugged two other people in his life, his mother and his first and only girlfriend just after high school. That girl had taught him once again that touch didn't have to be equaled with pain. Of course, it had hurt a lot more because of that when she had left him for some rich guy but he knew that he still owed her for that. And now he thought of her again, knowing that without Laura, he would have never drawn Jasmin in for that hug. Damn, he thought, hugging her felt nice.

He let go of her after a few moments, not wanting to draw attention because they were after all standing on the RV. He inclined his head towards her and after Jasmin smiled at him, he climbed off the Winnebago and went off to help with bringing the hay into the barn.

* * *

Of course, their hug did not go totally unnoticed but Andrea was soon distracted by Lori accusing her of not pulling her weight and after they had a full on argument that Andrea felt she won because she used all her knowledge of Lori on it, she went off to relieve Jasmin of watch duty without saying a word.

Jasmin in turn went looking for the men, hoping to help them a bit as her shoulder had healed nicely in the few weeks that she had been on the farm.

When she and the men except for Dale returned that evening, it was already dark. They were all hungry and looking forward to eating dinner and turning in. That's when they heard the scream. Daryl took off the fastest and when the others finally caught up with him and, to their horror, Dale who had had his stomach torn open by a Walker, Daryl had already taken out the Walker. They all stood in shock while Rick tried to shoot Dale, ending his misery. As time crawled on and he still couldn't bring himself to do it, Daryl took the gun from Rick, ending Dale's life with a muttered "Sorry, brother." and a bullet to his head.


	7. Things Left Unsaid

Thank you once again for your reviews, they mean so much!  
If you haven't reviewed yet, don't be shy. I'm really curious what you think.

Enjoy.

* * *

Things Left Unsaid

Dale's death had badly shaken the group. Their sanctuary of the farm had been breached and even though they had always had someone take watch, it was more of a precaution than a perceived necessity. Now they knew that anytime, a Walker could breach the fences, find a way around them. They had, of course, installed fortification but they still wondered 'Would it be enough?'  
Carl was beating himself up about Dale's untimely demise, he knew that it was his fault that Dale was dead. He knew it, but he didn't talk about at first. He was too afraid that the adults would blame him too, that they would take his new shiny gun away, that his mom would never let him out of her sight anymore. He wanted to keep having adventures and when Sophia could walk again, he would take her with him and keep her safe – he would be a real hero, just like his dad.

While the group mourned the death of one of their own, they also knew that time did not stop for them so they kept up with their chores. They were even more meticulous with taking watch now, having decided that at night, two people would take watch instead of only one at the time. How else would they be able to sleep anyway? Rick was also painfully aware that they needed other supplies if they were going to last the winter. They needed clothing and more food because while the farm provided plentiful during growing season, winter would take most of the fresh food from their menus. And with two children, a pregnant woman and plenty of adults to feed, meager food just wouldn't make the cut. Rick talked to Shane and it was decided that the failed run had to be completed and that they would need to make at least two more soon in case they got snow and wouldn't be able to leave then. But Rick also hadn't forgotten how the last run had gone.

Everyone was surprised when Rick, on the evening of Dale's burial, asked Jasmin to go on the supply run the next day with Shane – no one more than the two people involved. Jasmin consented anyway but only Lori saw that Shane's eyes got a malicious glint in them after only a few moments. She hoped that he would get rid of that woman. Lori hadn't forgotten that Jasmin had supposedly left her after the accident and other than simply not liking the woman, she also treated Carl less favorable than she should have. Preferring Sophia over her precious boy, something just had to be wrong with that woman. The constant smoking was another thing she absolutely hated about the tattooed woman. Next on her shit-list was Dixon and then Shane himself had to go, but first he could get rid of the people Lori didn't like. Once these people were gone, only decent people were left in the group and life could finally be nearly as it had been before her husband got shot and the world had subsequently gone to shit.

Lori was wrong about Shane's plan though. In fact, no one would have guessed Shane's plan for the next 24 hours.

* * *

After dinner, Jasmin and Daryl once more met up at the small hill that had somehow become their meeting point for smoking after dinner. They sat down next to each other, both looking towards the forest where Dale had died.

After Dale's death, Daryl had marched straight off, only stopping to extract the cigarettes from Jasmin's back pocket – inadvertently grabbing her ass in the process. She hadn't said anything but Daryl was painfully aware of the fact even though he hadn't planned on doing so at that moment. He had only realized what he had done when he had taken the first drag of his cigarette. He had avoided her all day, not knowing how to confront her, how she would react. Illogically, he had missed her; not that he would ever admit that out loud. When she sat down next to him, not a hint of anger in her face, a small weight had lifted off his shoulders. Daryl wasn't exactly sure how she had done it, making him care so much about her in such a short period of time. It had only been a few weeks since they had met. She had sneaked up on him, made him care and he had to admit that he cared about the rest of the group too, hell he even liked Maggie. Before, he would have never stuck around long enough to grow close to people – either him or Merle always fucked up one way or another and the people they had hung out with wanted nothing to do with them anymore. He didn't count Merle's addict friends into that equation, even he knew that he was better than those people. Nevertheless, he didn't know how to deal with his, dare he say it, feelings for her. He knew she deserved better than him, fucked up, good-for-nothing Dixon that he was. And they had other things to worry about anyway.

Jasmin hadn't even thought much about Daryl's ass grab. She knew that he had just wanted the cigarettes, that he had wanted solitude and a smoke to deal with having to shoot Dale. Sure, it was a mercy kill, but that didn't change the fact that he had ended the life of someone he cared about. She had decided to give him space at first. It didn't seem like he was dealing with it all too well though.  
"You know you did the right thing, yeah?" she finally broached the subject that was looming between them. "There was no way he would have survived that and you just ended his suffering. His life ended the second that Walker ripped him open."  
"It's jus' real hard, people're dying all the damn time." Daryl said after a while.  
"You know you can't save them all, right? You're just one man.."  
"Wish it was different, that's all."  
"You did all you could and you'll continue doing all you can. I've said it before, you're a good man and you try to save everyone but you can't. You can't take that responsibility."  
"Don't want to lose no one else, ya know?"

Jasmin moved a bit and rested her head on his shoulder.  
"I know. We'll just try our best to keep the group save. I don't know what I would do if something happened to Sophia or Carol or you or Andrea. You've all grown on me." Jasmin said then. "Just.. could you promise me something?"  
"What?" Daryl didn't know where she was going and he wasn't sure if he liked her train of thoughts. Deep down, he knew that Jasmin was right, that he did what had to be done. That he helped Dale, it just hurt so much to see everyone around him dying. He had never had other people care about him and now the people who did – at least a little, kept dying and he couldn't keep them save.  
"Will you help Carol keep Sophia save? Teach her how to shoot for real and maybe even defend herself with a knife? I'm not asking you to always protect them, just give them the skills to do it themselves and help me keep an eye on them?"  
"Yeah, can do that."

"By the way, I still need my box back." Jasmin said after a while, nudging him lightly in the ribs after she sat up again. Daryl handed her the box that he had carried around all day in a pocket of his vest.  
"Fact is, we might lose people – both family and friends – but we love them still and never stop caring for them just because they're gone. I think that's what you should do when people die – remember them, keep them with you, in your heart and thoughts because as long as someone still thinks of them, they aren't really gone."  
"Damn woman, you a philosopher or somethin'?" Daryl said at last. "I think Merle's still out there somewhere, can feel it. Only Merle can kill Merle and all that."  
"Maybe you'll find him one day. Who knows? The world has sure gotten a lot smaller with so little people still alive."  
"Maybe. Nothin' I can do 'bout it now. Don't like that yer goin' on that run with that asshole."  
"Don't worry, I'm not the main thorn in Shane's side and I don't want to die either so I'll keep my eyes open tomorrow."

"I have to get to watch, I have the first half of night watch with T-Dog soon." Jasmin said after the sun had gone down completely. Daryl got up first and held out his hand out to help her up. Between the two of them, she somehow got so much momentum that she lightly collided with Daryl's chest instead of standing in front of him. They froze looking into each others eyes until Jasmin pushed herself to her toes and closed the small gap between them.

Daryl was shocked by the feeling of her lips on his rather chapped ones at first. He had clearly not anticipated that move. When Jasmin lifted her arms to snake them around his neck, he finally reacted, kissing her back – softly at first, then with growing hunger.

Jasmin thought she was in heaven, kissing him was even better than she had anticipated. She had taken a chance right there, but somehow it had felt exactly right. At least it did until Daryl pulled back abruptly. He shook his head and turned away from her.  
"Ya shouldn't be doin' this with me." He said, his back turned.

Jasmin took a step, putting one hand on his shoulder.  
"You might think you don't deserve this or that now isn't the time for something like this, whatever this is but you're wrong. If you feel something for me, why shouldn't we just enjoy the time we have together? Who knows what will happen tomorrow or next week? I know you, Daryl. Maybe not everything but I know that you're a good man, I know that you've been through hell but still, you're good! I like you, I care about you so don't push me away."  
Daryl shook his head once more without looking at her and then went off.

Jasmin was left standing on the hill, not really knowing what this meant for them. Did he need time? Why had he stopped kissing her in the first place? Were they still friends?  
In the end, she went to take over watch without having an answer to any of her questions.

* * *

Daryl did not sleep well that night. He was confused and he didn't know how to deal with the situation. She had just kissed him out of the blue. Sure, they were good friends and her touch didn't set him off like nearly everyone else's but kissing, well that was another thing entirely. She was hot, young and a good person but he.. he was old, awkward and undeserving. He had fantasized, he could admit that but he had never thought it was a real possibility. He didn't know why exactly he had stopped kissing Jasmin. He had enjoyed it and he cared about her too. But he had other things to worry about – or at least he knew that he did have other things to worry about. Right now though, somehow getting her to kiss him again was pretty high on his priority list. Still, he wasn't boyfriend material or friends-with-benefits material either. He was just a damned Dixon, trying to survive in the apocalypse. Hell, he just killed Dale, even though it was a mercy killing.. well it didn't change the facts. He liked her though, and now that he had admitted that – even if it was only to himself, he would make sure she really came back from that run with Shane. He wouldn't lose her, not if he could help it.

Daryl had another gun and ammo in his pack by the bike and he had decided that he would give it to Jasmin. That gun was somewhat of a gem, it was reliable and beautiful just like her, he had to admit so it was only suiting that she got it. Jasmin's gun wasn't that good so she wouldn't refuse the newer one. While Daryl thought that, he started looking through his things and the gun was not where it was supposed to be. Someone must have taken it, he realized. He was instantly pissed off – no one took his stuff. Stalking off towards the middle of camp, he started muttering to himself. Those people were unbelievable. Taking his gun, going through his stuff, what was next?  
"Ya people better tell me where ma damned gun is!" He shouted at the people already having breakfast. No one said anything, though Carl looked towards his dad. He had told Shane about what happened, who had ratted him out to his dad anyway but his dad had told him to keep the gun.  
"Carl has it." Rick said calmly, "And I want him to keep it."  
"And I would like ta know how he got it and why ya decided what happens to ma stuff now!" Daryl's accent got heavier as he grew even more agitated. Everyone hoped that Jasmin would come running soon and calm him down because in the last few weeks, she had somehow managed to take the wind out of his anger whenever there was an argument. She was no-where to be seen though so Rick started again.  
"He took it, which was wrong but he needs a gun so I told him to keep it when I found out about it."  
"He took it an' ya told him ta keep it. The hell? Gimme ma gun, boy before I get it maself!" Daryl threatened.  
"Don't you threaten my boy, you stupid redneck-trash. You don't even need it. You have that stupid crossbow!" Lori shouted from where she was standing protectively over Carl. Daryl took a step back as if he had been slapped, he had thought those people cared about him but no one told her to shut up or anything. He couldn't help but wonder where Jasmin was, she wouldn't have allowed Lori to walk all over him, jeez he was going soft, wanting a woman to defend him.  
"Give me ma gun, Rick. Get him another one, I don't fuckin' care but that little thief ain't walkin' round with ma gun." Daryl said with finality.  
"Give him the stupid gun so he can get out of our faces, Rick." Lori commanded. Rick started moving so he could get the gun when Carol spoke up.  
"Don't talk to him like that, Carl shouldn't have taken the gun."  
"You mind your own business, you can't even keep your daughter safe!" Lori countered, insulting Carol more than she thought she would.  
Rick finally retrieved the gun and gave it to Daryl, who just took off without another word. His morning had gone from mediocre to bad and he just wanted to be alone.

When he reached his tent, he saw something lying in front of his tent that he must have missed when he left it earlier. It was the dark blue metal box which contained Jasmin's cigarettes.. Daryl's mind immediately jumped back to a conversation they once had – _"How about if I ever leave camp, I will leave some cigs for you, huh?"_ she had said. No.. she wouldn't just have left, would she? He ran to her tent, going in without so much as making his presence known and sure enough, her backpack and all her things were gone. He stood frozen for only a moment before storming toward Carol and Sophia, barking out, " You talk to her?"  
"Talk to who?", was Carol's rather surprised answer.  
"Jasmin." He spat.  
"Um, no. Why? Haven't seen her since yesterday evening."  
"Don't expect to see her no more, she's gone." He spat once more, feeling more betrayed than he had in a very long time. How could she just up and leave when she had said that she cared for him, for the others? She was worse than everyone else who had ever let him down. She had made him hope and then she had crushed it. He wanted to hurt her like she had hurt him, he was livid. He barely even registered that Sophia and Carol were asking him questions.

In the end, he just stalked into the forest, leaving a flabbergasted group behind. Why had she left? What had happened? Why hadn't she told anyone she was leaving? They would have given her some supplies so she would have made it for at least a few days if she had insisted on going after they tried to keep her there, but she hadn't given them a chance to do either of that. She had just up and left, betrayed them and now Rick knew that he had to make the run with Shane instead. It was exactly what he had been trying to avoid.

Shane was driving, gloating internally. His plan was coming along perfectly – he had already gotten rid of that stupid bitch Jasmin, making everyone think she had walked away on her own volition, even the stupid redneck. He had wanted to do a victory dance when he saw the hillbilly's face when he found the box. Ha, good thing Shane had heard that conversation. They made it too easy to fool them, he had even been assigned to be on watch the same time she had been so getting rid of her had been even easier than he had originally thought. If everything went along to plan, she was already dead. And now, he would get rid of Rick and then, nothing would stand between him, Lori, Carl and the baby.

He stopped the car in the middle of nowhere, telling Rick to exit the car at gunpoint. Now was his moment, now Lori would be his again, finally.  
What Shane had forgotten in his elation, was that Rick also carried a gun. They stood on opposite sides of the car when Shane revealed his plan and what he had already done to Rick. He couldn't believe that his best friend was capable of planning such things. Leaving Jasmin to be killed by Walkers, not once but twice, wanting to kill him just so he had another shot at his wife.. He had hoped that somehow they could work out whatever it was that made Shane want to kill him. Now he knew that there was no way that would be accomplished. It was him or Shane now, only one of them would walk away from this.

Shane was still going on and on about how Rick should have just stayed dead or away and nothing would have happened when Rick decided that he would not die for Shane, not like this. He raised his gun and aimed through the still open doors. The shot rang out and just a second later, Shane was on the ground, bleeding out rapidly.  
"You were my brother." Rick said, not quite believing that he had actually just killed his best friend since school. When Shane's chest moved no more, he got into the car and drove the short trip back to camp. Shane had only driven for about 5 minutes after leaving the farm, obviously not wanting to wait any longer.

When Rick arrived back at the farm, he was instantly off to find Daryl. They had to go look for Jasmin, maybe she was still alive. Rick felt so bad that he had just believed that the woman would just leave them – not once but twice now. Without even talking to anyone other than Andrea to tell her that she would have to keep watch, he went to Daryl's tent, dragging the man out of it.  
"You have to help me track Shane's tracks in the forest." Rick commanded.  
"Do it yerself or ask Shane himself ta do it." Daryl was still pissed at Rick for what had transpired earlier.  
"You have to help me find Jasmin, Shane.. well he's dead and took her into the woods last night."  
"He WHAT?!"  
"Let's go, Daryl! Every second counts here!" Rick commanded.

With that, they were off. While they were walking, Daryl soon tracking Shane's steps back, Rick told Daryl what Shane had done. To say that Daryl was pissed would be an understatement, he was positively livid. Not only did he want to kill Shane all over again, he also wanted to kick himself. Now that he was thinking straight again, he realized how stupid he had been, thinking she had just up and left just because he had reacted badly. And to think that he had believed that she would leave her box behind – sure she had said that she would leave him cigarettes, but never had she said that she would give him the box, a box that meant a lot to her because it was a token of her sister. He remembered the story with clarity.

_"Tell me somethin' 'bout yer sister." Daryl had often wondered about their bond, especially since he knew that Jasmin and her brothers hadn't gotten along very well. In fact he knew very little of her life before she had moved to that city where she studied.  
"We were four years apart in age but it meant little because we were so similar. Not in looks or behavior really, but in things we cared about, how we dealt with things. And she was the only good thing I had at home. I told you that my mother and I.. well we didn't get along is one way of putting it but really, she hated me. I never knew what it was that I did to warrant that but she did and she let me know what she thought about me. I always told myself that she had a psychological problem because she would treat me like dirt and love my siblings with all her heart. She wasn't a bad mother for them but somehow, I never got the same treatment."  
Daryl's whole posture had tensed while Jasmin talked and she caught on quickly, guessing what had him so tense.  
"It wasn't like that, she'd push me around a bit, but other than that, it was all non-violent. She'd __never get me anything for my birthday, I wouldn't get sweets, that sort of thing when I was younger, later she would make it her goal of the day to at least scream at me for one hour. By the time I was_ _twelve, I had a problem with self-harm and I was in the wrong crowd. Still, my sister stood by me as best as she could. She'd sneak me some of her chocolate, save me something for dinner when I was out again not wanting to come home. She was the only one that knew what I went through and gave a damn. It hurt her, to see the way things were and in the end, I think it's because of what she knew I already went through and then seeing what I had to go through once more, that drove her over the edge. That box.. she told my mother she wanted it but the truth was, she knew I wanted it. It's the only thing I have left of her and I will have it 'til the day I die." _

_During Jasmin's story, Daryl didn't really know what to do – he had wanted to hear a happy story about how she had played some silly game with her sister while she was younger, something to make him feel better. Better about the world, about what the world had become now but he should have known better. There wasn't much good in the world and somehow both him and Jasmin had never had much of that little good for themselves.  
Jasmin huffed then and said, as if that would explain everything, "My sister loved me and I will never stop loving her."_

He hadn't thought about this when he was raging about her leaving him. Now he just hoped that they weren't too late. He'd never forgive himself if she was dead just because he hadn't really thought this through.

They continued following Shane's trail through the forest until they came to the ravine that Daryl had fallen down when he had been looking for Sophia. There she was, fighting off a Walker with only her legs as her arms were bound to the tree behind her. Daryl aimed and shot the Walker in the head. It nearly fell on top of her but she sidestepped it.  
"Where is that sonofabitch? I will kill him!" She raged as the men jogged toward her.  
"You okay?" Daryl asked as soon as they reached her.  
"Yeah. It's mainly my pride that is hurt. And maybe my head. I'm lucky you came when you did. I wouldn't have been able to fight it off much longer."  
"Shane's no longer a problem." Rick told Jasmin.  
"How so? You got him under control or what?" She griped sarcastically.  
"He's dead."  
"Oh.. sorry. How?"  
"I'll tell the group later, let's just get back now. The others will wonder what is going on." Rick decided.

They started the trek back to the farm, walking as fast as possible.  
"What took you so long, anyway? It's got to be late afternoon at least. I thought you can track better than that." Jasmin said to Daryl.  
He looked at the forest's floor for a while, then reached into his pocket and handed her the box, saying, "Found this in front of my tent, thought you's left." His voice sounded as miserable as he felt.  
"That asshole must have been listening to our conversations, huh?" Anger was evident in her voice as she answered.  
"Seems like it.." Daryl trailed off.

They soon arrived back at the farm where Rick got the group and Hershel together and told them of what had transpired when he had left for the run with Shane and what he had done previously. Everyone was quite shocked and Hershel shocked them even more when he told them that they could move into the house with him and his family so that they all would be safer. It was decided that they would pack up their stuff that evening and move into the house the next morning. After that, everyone went to work, not wanting to lose the little light they had left.

When they were all done, darkness had fallen. They left only what they needed for the night in their tents and Jasmin and Daryl walked to their hill once more, intending to talk about what had happened the night before.  
After a moment of silence, Jasmin asked, "Hey.. we okay?" while touching his shoulder.  
He turned his head then, looking her in the eye for the first time since they had freed her from the rope that bound her to the tree.  
"Yeah, just.. not used to this, ya know?" He admitted and looked toward the forest. Just as Jasmin wanted to say something, he exclaimed, "Shit! C'mon, gotta get to the others and get the hell outta here!" She looked in the direction he had been looking at and understood immediately why he was so worried: hundreds of Walkers were coming right at the farm.

They ran back to the others as fast as they could, alerting everyone to the threat. What ensued can easily be described as pure chaos. Everyone was trying to get the last of their things into the cars and then themselves into them. Jasmin ran to help Carol carry Sophia to one of the cars, only to be distracted by Beth screaming. She ran toward the sound and that was the last Carol saw of her.

In the end, the group was separated only to be reunited at the highway where they had first lost Sophia.  
"Where's the rest of us?" Daryl asked as he observed that several members of both groups were missing.  
"Jimmy and Patricia were killed by Walkers, I saw it." Beth cried and was consoled by her father and sister, who were still hugging her after they were reunited.  
"Jasmin ran to help Beth after helping me with Sophia." Carol said, then.  
"Did anyone see her after that?" Rick asked. No one answered.  
"Andrea helped me get Carl into the car, then we were full and she ran for another vehicle, that's all I know." Lori said. Again, no one said anything after that. No one knew what had happened to the two women. They could be dead or alive, for now at least.  
"Did no one see them?" Carol asked.  
"I wanna go back." Daryl declared without hesitation.  
"No" Rick said as Daryl mounted his bike.  
"We can't just leave 'em." Daryl said, set on going after them.  
"We don't even know if they're there." Lori said.  
"They aren't there, they aren't. They're either somewhere else or they're dead. There's no way to find them." Rick added.  
"So we aren't even going to look for them?" Glenn asked incredulously.  
"I'ma go look for 'em." Daryl once more said. "No way I'm leavin' her behind once more.. them, I mean."  
"We gotta keep moving, head east!" Rick was in Daryl's face, wanting him to just do as he said.  
"I ain't gonna leave 'em behind. I'ma go look for 'em and ya ain't stoppin' me. Ya can either wait 'ere or leave me behind as well. Yer choice."  
"If Daryl's leaving, we are too." Carol declared, she had learned that she could count on Daryl, the others had already given up on finding Sophia when Daryl went out again.

What Daryl didn't know then was that the only thing he would find when he went looking would be a dark blue metal box that had been trampled on repeatedly, leaving it dented and dusty.

* * *

Wow, longest chapter so far.  
So, we're saying goodbye to Jasmin for now. I'm not sure how long it's going to take until her fate is revealed. The next chapter should be pretty angsty though. :)


	8. Icy Winter

Icy Winter 

Daryl went looking for the two women right after they realized Jasmin and Andrea were gone. When he got to the farm, most of the Walkers had already passed through, but that meant little as there were still a lot of them lingering. He kept to the tree line to stay out of their sight. He hoped to find a trail that he could follow so that he could get them back to the others.  
He was having no luck though. He hadn't found a trail and he had been looking for half the time he had until he had to get back to the others- two hours total. But he wouldn't give up, not when he knew that Jasmin was still out there somewhere. He just knew it and after all the times he had disappointed her, he wouldn't do it again. He would find her, get her back to the others and they would survive together. The rest.. well he didn't even care about it as long as she was alive, well and he could just enjoy her company. Of course, if she was interested in anything else, he wouldn't say no. He hadn't been lying when he had said that he wasn't used to having someone care about him, liking him even but he had wanted to try. Now, he didn't even know what she thought about it.

What he found then nearly crushed his heart. He had hoped for a lead on where she – they – had gone, but finding that box, that blue box dented, dirty and bloody told him what he didn't want to believe. There was no way she would have left that box behind voluntarily, he knew that. He couldn't see anything else in the proximity that told him where she had gone or where she had come from, so he knew that **if** she had left a trail, it had been eradicated by the Walkers that had shuffled all across the farm's territory. He put the box where he had kept it just a few days ago, into one of his vest pockets, the one right above his chest – he realized now that someone who was sappy would have thought some shit like, 'Right above my heart, where she belongs' but the truth was, this was the most secure pocket the vest had and he would keep this token for as long as he lived, just as she had done.

* * *

He went back to the group after that, knowing when to give up. When he looked up into the hopeful faces of Sophia, Carol, Glenn and Maggie after getting off his bike, he just shook his head, not being able to speak. He felt as if he was choking, it was even worse than when he had lost Merle. Merle had left him on his own free will, had left him behind but her, she had decided to stay time and time again even after he had given up on her.

Carol walked up to him then, touching his shoulder gently, intending to comfort him but he jerked away as if he received a small electronic shock when she touched him. She did it again, but this time, he let her.  
"Are you sure?" She asked him, voice calm but quiet.  
"Pretty much, found this, no trails." With that, he took out the box, showing it to Carol before tucking it back into his pocket. She went quiet after that.  
"I don't know much about that box, but I know that it was important to her. I trust that you looked as best as possible. Maybe she's still out there, there's still hope."  
He turned his back on her then. Did he want to hope? Hell if he knew. The only thing he knew was that he didn't want to think about her now. He'd have to think about what he lost if he started thinking about her.

The group began their trip to the coast up until the first car ran out of gas. They fought once more, what to do, where to go and even though they had supplies, clothes and their personal things, they also needed food and shelter – things they didn't have anymore. When Rick revealed that they all were infected, everything went from bad to worse. While Carol shoved Sophia behind her back, Lori went all up into Rick's face about how he was keeping secrets from her, how he killed Shane and how he never did what was best for their family. After that, they had a full-on argument where Rick also revealed that he knew about her and Shane's relationship. He even screamed in her face that he wasn't sure if the baby was actually his. After that, she walked off, not knowing what to say or do now that he knew everything.  
Rick tried to console the group after that by stressing that at least, they had found each other but that had been the wrong thing to say. Daryl just snapped after that.  
"THE FUCK YA TALKIN' 'BOUT, HUH?! FOUND EACH OTHER?! BULLSHIT! WE AIN'T COMPLETE, JASMIN'S NOT HERE; ANDREA NEITHER!"  
He would have gone on, but Rick trained his gun on him then, silencing him, telling him that he was endangering the group.

After that, Daryl just shut down. His body was still present and he wielded his crossbow too but that was it. He just existed, not caring about what happened around him, to him. He did his jobs, protected the group but that was it. No interaction with anyone, no emotions on his face or inside of him, he really shut down. It was easier this way, not feeling, not thinking, only doing what needed to be done. That was, after all, what Dixons did.

* * *

This went on for about two months, two months in which the group traveled endlessly, trying to find a safe place to stay but ending up never staying more than three days because everywhere, the Walkers found them or they ran out of food once more.

"You know, Jasmin told me that if anything happened to her, I should just stay by your side, that you would keep me and mama safe but now that she's away, all you ever do is smoke, kill Walkers and stare into space. She'd want you to live, to have friends! I want you to be my friend!" Sophia exclaimed one day. The girl had toughened up a lot in the last few weeks. She'd done her part in protecting the group, found supplies with Carl and learned how to take care of smaller wounds from Hershel – the same as her mother even though Carol both had more experience and got taught more.  
Daryl jerked as if he had been punched right in the face, he sure looked like it too. No one had said anything about Jasmin to him in a long time – not after the outbursts that always accompanied her name being spoken to him. He had built a wall around his emotions and now, this little slip of a girl had broken through it, just like that.

He remembered what she had said to him once, it felt like a lifetime ago. They had talked about what life as a whole meant and Daryl had admitted that he thought that life sucked and someday, you died. Hell, that was what he thought his whole life but now that he remembered, well he wasn't so sure anymore.  
_"You know, when life got hard and I didn't know why I was doing this anymore I told myself that life only has no meaning because you choose that your life has none. Most of my life, I lived just to get out of one shitty situation or another. But in the end, I felt best when I decided that as long as I made someone happy or helped them in some way, just enriched someone's day, my life was worth living." She sighed then and he looked at her, once more seeing that deep sadness in her. "When shit went down and I was alone in Florida, all I wanted to do was go home and die with my friends. But now, now I've got you people and my new purpose is to keep the group safe, to make this life bearable for all of us. And I'm fine with that, there's no emptiness in me." And just like that, she had smiled once more.  
_Maybe his life's purpose would be to keep the people save he cared about, the people Jasmin had cared about. Maybe he could even honor her that way? Would she be proud, approve if he did that? He hoped so.

"C'mere." He said to Sophia, patting the spot next to him on his poncho. She hesitated only a second, then went to sit right next to him, interested in what he would say next. "Tell me yer fondest memory of her." He himself wasn't sure what he wanted to accomplish with that but somehow, he needed to hear that she had been important to other people too. That he wasn't the only one missing her.  
"I was sitting around camp, Carl was gone somewhere and I was so bored when she came along, carrying stuff. She saw me sitting there and shouted that she would be over soon. She got rid of the stuff, went to her tent and came back with a cookie. You know, when we had cookies, they were so delicious and she gave me one of hers, saying that pretty girls like me deserved another cookie. We played after that and then, she came to spend time with me every day until we got overrun. She was the nicest person even though some people were mean to her, she never took it out on me – like my dad always did. I wanna be like her."  
During the story, Carol sat down beside her daughter, quickly catching on and drawing her daughter in for a side-hug.  
"She believed in the goodness of people even though she had no reason to do so. She gave me my Sophia back and then my strength when I thought I wasn't able to protect my little Sophia."

They sat in silence after that, Daryl somehow feeling better than he had since she was gone.

* * *

After that, things got better for him, at least some. His new purpose in life became the welfare of the group, their survival and health became nearly all he ever thought about. The only time he ever took for himself was sunset. He'd sit down a little ways away from the group, stare into the distance, smoke and think about her, what they had talked about, what she looked like, just what she was like or that one time his lips had been fused to hers.

He realized that he loved her, long after she was gone, he realized that she meant more to him than any other survivor and even though she was gone, he would never stop thinking about her, wondering whether she was really dead, still out there somewhere.. if he would ever see her again. He knew it wasn't healthy, not letting go. Hell, all they ever did these days was let go. They let go of people so quickly, of places they had hoped to live in, of warmth. Yes, he realized that his group had changed. With Lori and Rick barely talking even though her belly grew with her pregnancy, everyone was tense these days, the group rarely if ever laughed together. They were fighting to survive, the winter getting to them.

They finally got a respite when Daryl found a small abandoned house in the middle of no-where while he was out hunting. It was so remote, there were barely any Walkers around – really, it was perfect for them. Once they got moved in, they set up a watch schedule and patrols to make sure that the territory stayed mainly Walker-free.

The group spent the rest of the harsh cold of the winter in the house, living together in the three rooms the house contained. It was hard, having no privacy whatsoever but they managed, especially since everyone appreciated the little warmth all their bodies provided.

When the territory got swarmed with Walkers, they moved out of the house, not leaving anything behind that could somehow be of use to them.

* * *

Winter passed and Lori was nearly six months pregnant by that time. She was having a hard time running, carrying things other than blankets was also out of the question. She and Rick were still barely talking and if they were, it wasn't about them but about the group and their safety.

It was all getting too much for Daryl, looking at them while they fought all the time when they were supposed to be happy that they had each other. They should be behaving like Glenn and Maggie did, appreciate each other but no, they were always at each others throats. He touched the metal box that was still inside his vest, a vest that he had thrown over his jacket just so he could feel the familiar weight of the box resting against his chest. It somehow made her more real because some days, he wondered if she had even been real, wondered if it had all been a dream in the dreadfulness that was the world nowadays.

He had had enough, they would either get their shit together or break up for real. He knew that they couldn't get a fuckin' divorce but so what? If they decided to end it, they were done and if they decided to work it out, well they better work it out then.  
"Ya people are fuckin' ungrateful. Yer husband came back from the dead, yer pregnant and we're keepin' yerself and yer boy save. An' ya, ya killed yer best friend so ya could be together with her so why are ya wastin' it now. Ya better get yer shit together, this is tearin' the group apart, we got better things ta worry 'bout!" He ranted at Lori and Rick when they had once more had an argument for everyone to hear.

Daryl also knew that it was getting to Carl, always witnessing his parents' fights like that. He had taken a liking to the boy, just as he had to Sophia, once he had grown up a bit. Gone was the annoying boy that wanted to play hero every day and in his place was a boy who knew that the world he lived in was unforgiving and harsh but still held hope for better days. He felt like somewhat of a brother to both Carl and Sophia and he made it his job to make sure they were as prepared as possible – teaching them how to track and navigate, in case they someday got separated from the group. He still remembered the hopelessness of the search for Sophia, a search that would have been for naught, had it not been for Jasmin.

There she was again. As much as he tried not thinking about her constantly, she always popped up, no matter what or who he really thought about.

Carol had become his rock, so to speak. It wasn't the same as with Jasmin, with whom he had shared more than with anyone else – hell that woman knew more about him than even Merle, probably, no Carol was just there for him when he didn't want to be alone, but had no words to spare either. She understood that he didn't want to talk about his pain, that he didn't need coddling, just a friend to sit in silence with. She had changed a lot since he got to know her back in Atlanta. Back then, she was timid, always afraid of her husband and not believing in herself. Now she was a mother that looked out for her daughter and for Carl, who was able to protect them, who nurtured them, raised them when Lori was too distracted with her pregnancy and she took care of the group, cooking and washing whenever they needed her. She was a fast learner when it came to the medical training Hershel bestowed upon her and sometimes Sophia.

Daryl's strength though was dwindling, he needed Jasmin, needed her just to be there so they could have a smoke together and wouldn't have to worry about how she was doing in that moment, if she was hungry, cold or dead.

The group needed somewhere to call home and then, he had decided, he would take a break. When they could finally take a breath, he would go back to the farm and go looking for her again. Maybe she had gone back in hopes of them returning, it was possible. That plan was all that kept him going for the next three months until they found the prison.

He had no way of knowing that he would never go back to that farm, that their home would become a tomb and that he would perhaps lose Jasmin all over again just when he found someone else he had missed for a long time. He didn't know, and so he hoped, but was to hope really the safest bet in the apocalypse?

* * *

This was short, huh?  
But there's a reason I'm writing this part in two chapters.  
And now, it's your turn to get involved with this story by reviewing what you want. It's going to SPOILER you but I think it's worth it. There are two choices:

Either we have the reunion in the chapter after the next one, but really ONLY a short reunion at the end of the chapter that will be a mean mean cliffhanger because you won't understand what's happening

OR

we will have what happened to Jasmin in the last months and a longer, perhaps deeper reunion in the chapter after that.

Whatever you decide, remember that the next chapter will be only Daryl so don't kill me :P


	9. Decline

Decline

They all thought the prison would be their salvation. And at first, it was. They finally had a home, felt safe and had enough food to last them a while. The two remaining prisoners were a problem, but it had be decided that they could live in another cell block as long as they stayed there. That way, they wouldn't have to interact with them and the danger they posed was minimal.

Daryl felt like he could breathe again, take a tiny break from his constant vigilance and just be. He'd still pull his weight, of course, but somehow, after getting to the prison, a huge weight had been pulled off his shoulders. It left him lighter but also sad because he once more had the time to think again, think about her and where she was, if she was anywhere even.

Through all these months, he had kept her things with him, things that had been packed in the car, ready to get inside Hershel's house the next morning. They never moved in and when they had to leave one of the cars behind, Daryl had seen her backpack with the things the others had wanted to leave behind. He couldn't allow that and since no one else wanted to keep the backpack, he had secured it to his bike and never left it behind. He thought that if they ever found her again, she would appreciate having her things once more. In his head, it all made perfect sense – one day she and Andrea would just stumble upon them if he didn't find them at the farm. They would reunite with the group, she'd hug him and he would give her the backpack, maybe even get a kiss for that. That thought was what kept him going, even if it was so cheesy he'd never admit to thinking that – not even under torture. Of course, that hadn't happened yet, but still, he hoped.

* * *

The day had been beautiful, it was a good day even. The prisoners reappearance caused some minor trouble, but after a brief discussion, T-Dog was overruled and the prisoners would be sent away. Just as Rick, Glenn and Daryl himself came back from gathering wood, things turned to shit in about 3 seconds. There were Walkers everywhere up at the prison, where everyone else was, the kids, Lori, Hershel, who could barely even walk on his own.

The men ran as fast as they could, but when they made it up, only Hershel, Beth and Sophia were still there. The others were off to god knew where and they had to stop the fucking noise that attracted even more Walkers to the vicinity of their new home.

As soon as Andrew was dead, shot by Oscar which shocked Daryl deeply, they went looking for the others. How come Oscar shot his friend and not Rick? Maybe it was because Daryl himself had been poised to kill him if he made one wrong move but still, it would have been a stretch for him, had Oscar decided to kill them both. In the end, it didn't matter but still, it irked Daryl, also because they had basically been at Oscar's mercy. His adrenalin rush was nearly over though, and he realized that he was exhausted. Fuck, he had known that he was already pretty beat before this had happened but he needed his strength now.

They search went on, through the tombs of the prison and then, they found T-Dog.. or what was left of him anyway. Daryl felt as if he had been sucker-punched into the stomach. That was his friend lying there, half eaten by Walkers. What he felt then was nothing compared to what he felt when he saw Carol's shawl and gun lying next to the carcass. He sank to his knees, picking up the things she had left behind and felt a second of blinding rage toward the world. Why did everyone he cared about have to die? Why?

Rick gripped his shoulder then and dragged him up, they had others to find, like his stupid bitch of a wife. Oh, Rick and Lori had somewhat rekindled after Daryl's frank words but that didn't change Daryl's opinion of the woman. Rick cared, of course, that T-Dog and Carol were dead, but his wife and child were his priority at that moment.

After clearing the rest of the area they knew, they went back to the inner yard, where Sophia, Beth and Hershel were waiting. One look at her and Daryl instantly felt worse. Hell, how was this fair? That girl was only 13 and now her mother was dead. He's been much younger when his ma had died but his hadn't even been half the mother Carol had been.

While Rick was shouting towards Hershel for information regarding his wife and son, Daryl went up to Sophia, handing her the shawl, shaking his head to signal that she hadn't made it without actually saying it. He didn't want to say it, he fucking couldn't say it. He didn't have to though, she understood anyway. The girl practically fell into his arms, the strength had somehow left her body with the realization that she was now alone. Thirteen and alone. She sobbed for a short while but was interrupted by Rick asking Daryl to come looking for his wife even when Daryl was obviously consoling the girl – or trying to at least, what did he know about such things? Not much, everything he did know came from when Carol had tried to console him when they lost Jasmin and Andrea.

Just when Daryl was ready to punch Rick in the face for not grasping the situation at hand, they heard a baby wailing. Seconds later, they saw Maggie carrying the crying baby and Carl, no Lori though. Maggie was crying and Carl looked shell shocked. Daryl understood at once. Fuckfuckfuck, today was not a good day at all, not only one, but two mothers had died today. Sure, Lori was a bitch most of the time, but she took care of Carl. How were they supposed to take care of a baby now? What did babies even eat? Daryl had no idea, he had never even held a baby before, the only ones he'd seen were fathered by one or another of his acquaintances and he was never trusted enough to get to hold one of the kids.

Rick obviously went into shock after that. Daryl understood, he did, but really, now was not the time. He had a kid to take care of, for fuck's sake. Carl needed his father, Sophia needed Rick to be the leader he was supposed to be, the others needed Rick too, though not as much.  
It was no use, after Daryl had handed Sophia over to Beth, he went to Rick, waving in front of his face, trying to rouse him. It made no difference, he continued to stare off into space, then suddenly grabbed an ax and went into the building Maggie and Carl had just exited.

Daryl knew that someone had to step up now that their leader was off, working out his shock. He knew that it had to be him to do so, but hell, he didn't want that responsibility. He hoped Rick would work this out fast. In the meantime, he was going to make sure that the baby didn't die, that someone took care of Carl and Sophia. No one else would die, he wouldn't allow it. He couldn't take it either, there was just so much anyone could take and he had nearly reached his limit, he knew that.

The run for baby formula was straight-forward. Get in, get supplies and dinner, get out. Maggie was a good ally in such endeavors. They were quick, efficient and got everything they needed.  
When they got back, Daryl held the baby for the first time. It was a crazy thing, to think that such a small thing would be an adult one day.  
He shushed the baby gently, starting to feed her. "She got a name yet?"  
"Not yet," Carl replied, "I was thinking maybe Carol, Andrea too. Patricia, Jacqui, Jasmin or Lori.." He shook his head, clearly overwhelmed by the memory of all the people they had lost so far.  
"You like that, huh, little Ass-Kicker? Huh, sweetheart?" Daryl cooed at the baby, then, to the others, "Ain't that right?" He continued feeding the baby until she was done with the bottle. Somehow it came naturally to him, feeding and holding the baby even though he had never done this before.

* * *

Daryl sat with his back against the wall, hammering Carol's knife against the wall. Why, why did she have to die? Why wasn't he up there when everything went to shit? He missed her and he just didn't know how Sophia was going to cope. She might have toughened up a lot over the last 8 months, but she was still only a child – a child without any living parent. His emotions were all over the place and he was getting annoyed also due to the constant clanking noise the Walker behind the jammed door. Fuck, he had enough, the thing had to go.

He yanked the door open, knife poised – ready to kill but what he found left him paralyzed for a second. In the next, he was crouching down, making sure that it was really Carol he was looking at, not something that once was Carol. But yes, she was alive. After checking her for bites, he hoisted her up into his arms and carried her back to their cell block. He got her water and something to eat and went looking for the others, no one was in the cell block, much to his surprise. To say he was elated would be an understatement, hell he couldn't remember the last time he was this happy.  
He found Sophia almost immediately as she had been on her way into the cell block.  
"C'mere, hurry up, ya wanna see this." He said to her as soon as he saw her.  
Sophia trudged after him, not really caring what he wanted to show her. She just felt hollow since her mama.. since she was alone. It all just didn't matter, so what if there was something happening that had Daryl looking like her could puke rainbows – which means he had a slight smile on his face.

She stopped abruptly when she realized that Daryl went inside the cell she had shared with her mama. Was he playing a dirty trick on her? She didn't want to go in there.  
"C'mon now!" He grabbed her on the arm and shoved her lightly. That's when she saw it – or better, her. Her mama, alive, not well but alive and smiling at her. She jumped into her mother's arms,more than glad to have her back.

Daryl went out to get the others and was quite surprised to find that there was someone else with them, some woman lying on a blanket on the floor but in the end, he didn't care, he had more important things to do, to tell them.

* * *

Fucking hell, this day was just a total mindfuck. He hadn't slept yet, so it felt like a day, at least. First he finds Carol, then Maggie and Glenn had been taken by what turned out to be Merle, he had been caught and sent into the ring to fight Merle to the death. Of course, they had gotten out of there, but it wouldn't have been possible had Rick and the others not come back for him. The woman, Michonne, had ditched them right after they found them only to get back to them when he was gone, beat up pretty badly. She had fought the Governor, apparently, taken his eye. Daryl didn't even care. Why wasn't the motherfucker dead? That's what he would have done but well, maybe she was as stupid as she looked.

Merle, well fuck, he certainly hadn't expected to find him when he set out to get Maggie and Glenn back. His brother had messed Glenn up pretty badly, he wasn't sure what had happened to Maggie, but she also looked worse for wear even though there were no bruises showing. His brother's shirt was splattered with blood, differing in age as most of it was lighter than the rest. Daryl thought that the older blood must have belonged to Glenn, there was no way Glenn had bled that much. Now, Rick and Glenn didn't want Merle to come back to the prison with him. He couldn't really hold a grudge for that, he understood but he just wouldn't leave his brother behind again. He had lost him once, not knowing where he was and he had missed him, at least until they had gotten to the farm. Things had changed after that, but he wasn't going down that road again, at least not now.

Fact was, he wouldn't leave Merle and if they didn't want Merle, well, they wouldn't have him. "No him, no me" he had said several times. Yes, it hurt to leave his new 'family' behind but Merle was blood and in the end, that was what mattered. It didn't matter that he hadn't seen his brother in months or that he cared about the people back at the prison or that Merle had done something to a friend of that black woman. Who cared about anything these days anyway – he certainly was done with it, done with caring about things or people. The only thing he had to care about when he was with Merle was survival, just like it had always been and always would be.

He was sure he would never regret taking his brother's side.

* * *

Well shit. Things sure looked different after you had a couple hours of shut-eye, Daryl thought. The problem wasn't his brother, not really. It was him, he realized that. His brother was still the same bastard he had always been, apart from getting rid of his rocker clothing and the hand, Merle was exactly the same. Daryl wasn't though. Somehow, being together with those people, and her of course – he felt the small box against his chest, as always – he had started caring and now he couldn't stop. He risked his life for a couple of strangers and their baby and in the moment, he hadn't thought twice about it and now, after Merle's reaction, he realized how different he was.

As he was half lying, half kneeling on the ground, his scars exposed to his brother, who pledged ignorance to his suffering, he realized that he belonged with the people he had left behind. He wanted to laugh at his brother's face, telling him that when he left, the abuse got so much worse, not only because he had to take on his brother's share too but because the old man was just fucking angry that Merle had up and left them. So Daryl became the punching bag, slicing surface, cigarette stubbing place of his father, hiding his pain in shame until he was 35, when he met Jasmin, with scars that were different from his but still, she understood and her words and wisdom had healed him. Up until his brother had exposed them because somehow, everything he had felt before came back, rushing into his brain and heart. For a few seconds, he was paralyzed by the pain and then, he had known that with only his brother at his side, he'd die. Maybe not in the literal sense, but the man he was now would leave again and then, he knew that Jasmin wouldn't want him anymore. And he held onto her ghost with a passion.

* * *

Daryl and a rather unwilling Merle made their way back to the prison right after that conversation. They arrived just in time, or maybe too late in general, to save Rick from certain death by Walker bite. He seemed to be off in gaga land still, not really reacting or saying much.

It wasn't until the three of them reached the gate, which was pulled open by Carl, that he realized something was wrong beside the fact that the prison had just been under attack and Axel was lying on the ground, dead. Every gun in the prison was poised on Merle, even people who didn't know him looked about ready to make him suffer a painful death.  
"Kinda thought we left that behind us, folks!" Merle nearly shouted out as a greeting.  
Glenn took it upon himself to make a decision then as Rick was just standing next to Merle, processing nothing as it seemed.  
"One wrong move and you're dead. If you're going to walk in here, it's straight into a cell that will be locked."  
"What the hell? He just helped save Rick for god's sake. Cut him some slack. Ya still goin' on about the beatin'?" Daryl didn't understand. For fuck's sake, even Sophia, who had arrived back out in the yard just now with Maggie trailing behind her, had her gun trained at his brother, a murderous look on her face.  
Carol mumbled, "He doesn't know.. he doesn't know."  
"What, talk to me, woman!" What the hell was going on? Daryl was getting pissed off, no one was making any sense, least of all his brother, who opened his trap once more.  
"Hell, she still alive? That's one tough cookie." Merle's dirty cackle sounded in the yard.  
Carol looked Daryl straight in the eye then. "She's here and she's not well."

What was Carol talking about? Who was here? So what if someone was not well?  
"Jasmin. Daryl, she's here." Daryl's head whipped around, looking straight at the source of he message, Sophia.

He stood there for a second, then he was off. No one would hold him off now that she was within his grasp again. No one except Maggie and Carol, that was. They moved in front of him as one, blocking his way.  
"She doesn't want to see you." Maggie's words were like a knife to his gut. What? Why? He hadn't seen her in months, what was there that she would be angry at him for?  
"Why the hell would that be?" He asked.  
"Because you brought him." Daryl followed Maggie's pointing finger although he already knew who was meant. Merle.

* * *

Dun Dun Dun.  
You excited for next chapter?  
:P  
I am too.  
We'll have Jasmin's story next, the reunion in the chapter after that. Y'all excited? I sure am. ^_^

Leave a review and I'll send you a teaser :)


	10. Nothing Left To Lose

Please read:

I made a bit of a mistake in the last chapter.  
Instead of most of the blood on Merle's shirt being older, it is supposed to be lighter and therefore not as old. Just realized that it made no sense for Merle to question Glenn later rather than earlier.

Also, warnings for torture.

That's it. Hope y'all enjoy!

* * *

Nothing Left To Lose

Running. That was all they had done for hours and they weren't getting away. And how could they? Every time they had to shoot a Walker, more were attracted – as if their sound and smell were not enough, the noise of the guns rang out in the forest. They were getting desperate, Jasmin's head was killing her – at times, she couldn't even aim or run straight, she was so woozy. But they couldn't stop, they were nearly out of ammo and there was only so much you could do with your knife and they knew it.

When the Walkers had come, Jasmin had first helped Carol then had run in the direction of someone crying out, she thought it was Beth but she had been too late. She wasn't sure who was being devoured and had no time to check either. She had turned around only to collide head on with a Walker. They both fell to the ground, Jasmin grabbing for her knife in haste, cutting her hand a bit. She stuck the knife into the Walker's eye, piercing the brain that way. When she came up again, the cars were gone. Her heart felt as if it was made of lead. She was alone again, without supplies. That was when she saw her, Andrea. Obviously, they had left without her too. She hurried after the woman, slowly catching up with her. Andrea's face held relief when she saw Jasmin, she wasn't alone, there was hope for her. Andrea was pissed, she could have somehow fitted into the car but Lori had sent her away, not letting anyone else in.

That was how they came to be in the forest, some hours later, totally exhausted, Jasmin's head spinning and the world tilting dangerously. She stumbled over a large root and that was that, she was out like a light, only softly groaning from the impact. Andrea was internally debating on what to do when a Walker she hadn't seen behind her was beheaded by a dark figure.

Andrea whipped around, feeling both dread and relief flood her when she saw the hooded figure with the sword. They weren't the only ones in the forest and somehow, the Walkers were losing interest in them too. That's when she saw that the woman had two Walkers on chains right behind her, with neither arms not jaws, nevertheless.  
"What's wrong with her?" The woman asked, her voice gruff, as if she hadn't spoken in a very long time.  
"Concussion, I think. We've been running for hours." Andrea answered honestly. What did she have to lose anyway? Without her, she and Jasmin would have been Walker-food.

* * *

When Jasmin came to, she opened her eyes to the sight of a campfire.  
"What's going on?" She asked as she slowly sat up. Her head was still bothering her a lot, she probably had a concussion once again just because of that fucker Shane, she thought to herself. She observed Andrea sitting next to a black woman with dreadlocks, they were looking at her – the woman with suspicion and Andrea's face once more showing relief.  
"This is Michonne, she saved us both when you collapsed. I told her what happened at the farm." Andrea supplied. The woman inclined her head toward Jasmin, who nodded back. "I think it's best if we travel together, Michonne has Walkers that mask our scent." She pointed toward the tree behind Jasmin, where they were bound. Jasmin hadn't even heard them and was shocked when she saw them standing there, doing nothing except rattle the chains once in a while.  
Jasmin nodded and Michonne didn't say anything against the idea so it seemed that she wasn't against the arrangement.

* * *

Andrea wasn't well and they knew it. She needed medicine, real medicine and not just the aspirin Michonne and Jasmin were able to scavenge. They couldn't move though, not without moving Andrea too and that wouldn't help her situation at all.

While Michonne went to give Andrea the aspirins, Jasmin went out once more, looking for anything they might have missed on their first sweep. She was wielding the machete she had found during the winter – it was a helpfully silent but deadly weapon to have. She split a few Walkers' heads on her way through the small logging town, coming up with a few cans of food, nothing else.

It was decided they had to leave the town in search for medical supplies or help, though help wasn't really anticipated. When they saw the smoke rising from the forest, Andrea headed straight for it, Jasmin and Michonne quietly following her.

* * *

They were quiet most of the time, Jasmin and Michonne mostly understood each other without words, Andrea wasn't as quiet as them, but she was close. If they talked, it wasn't much – Jasmin and Andrea carrying on with their friendship they had started building back at the farm and Michonne was more of a listener, not a talker. They were good friends non-the-less, always having the others' backs, also because even though they didn't talk much, they had been together for months and if they did talk, it was of importance.

Jasmin didn't feel like talking most of the time anyway. She had never been a chatterbox, but after the flight from the farm, she had closed up a lot. On that day, she had not only lost Daryl, which would have been enough to get her to retreat into herself because she never showed the deep hurt – never. But she also lost the box that she had gotten from her sister. She was pretty sure it had happened when she had gone down with the Walker, it must have slipped from her pocket then and she felt the loss ever since. She also had nothing to hold onto that had been Daryl's. But oh, how she wished she did. In the end, she made do with always having a smoke at sundown. It reminded her of the times they had talked and she took those minutes to remember the memories most precious to herself then – memories of him opening up a bit, listening or just sitting in silence. She tried not to think about the kiss too much, the memory was bittersweet because she didn't really know what he had meant with not being used to having someone care about him – did that mean that he didn't want her to care or that he was telling her that he would make mistakes but wanted to try anyway? In the end it didn't matter because she wasn't where he was, wherever that was, if he was still alive.

She was sure he had at least left the farm alive, she had heard his bike driving off, she had been so glad to hear the sound of it fading, it meant he had gotten away – stayed alive when the odds were against survival, even more so than usual.

Michonne knew that Jasmin had lost someone dear to her when they left the farm, not that Jasmin had spoken a word of Daryl since that night but Andrea had told her when Jasmin hadn't been there once. Jasmin just didn't want their pity and somehow keeping her thoughts to herself made it feel all the more special, sacred even what they shared. Besides, not talking about him didn't change the fact that she thought about him more than once every day and it also didn't change the fact that it hurt so much, not being able to spend time just sitting with him, talking to him and, dare she think it, kissing him. She held hope that some day, they would find the others again. Someone, really. Sometimes it felt as if the three of them were the only living people on earth.

* * *

They reached the source of the smoke soon after Jasmin was done musing about the last few months, they weren't as fast as they could have been, not with Andrea this sick. Jasmin and Michonne worried about her, they were no doctors and therefore relatively helpless. They hated feeling that way.

Staying hidden, they observed as the group of men swiped the area around the crashed helicopter, missing them only by a hair's breath because Michonne had killed the Walkers on the chains. Just as they allowed the tension to leave their shoulders, they heard a sound behind them – Michonne and Jasmin raising their respective weapons at once. It was all for naught though as a voice came from right behind Andrea.  
"Ah ah ah, easy does it girls, mine's a whole lot bigger than yours. Now, put down your weapons." They lowered the katana and machete slowly, eliciting a, "That's it, nice and easy. And let me see your hands." from the person who found them. As he demanded, they twisted until he was able to see the front of their bodies and faces.  
When he saw Andrea's face, he said, "Oh holy shit, blondie. Hi, you look..good." He almost casually killed a Walker then and stood up. Jasmin and Michonne had no idea what was going on, who was this asshole and how did he know Andrea? What the hell was that contraption where his hand was supposed to be?  
He answered the question about his identity for Jasmin at least when he said, "Now, how about a hug for your old pal Merle?" He was grinning wickedly, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Jasmin made the connection when he announced his name. Holy fucking hell, this was Daryl's brother – the asshole Daryl cared so much about. Well shit, she had certainly not expected that but it made sense, that's why the guy didn't have a hand, the fucker had cut it off to free himself of the handcuff.

Andrea fainted right after that, falling to the ground and the other two were quickly bound and blindfolded by cloths over their eyes. They had no idea where they were taken, the two conscious women hating the fact that they had been found in the first place.

* * *

While Andrea received what appeared to be medical help, they quietly discussed what they were going to do about their situation, clearly they weren't allowed to leave. Jasmin whispered to Andrea and Michonne that she didn't want anyone to know that she knew Daryl, especially Merle. She didn't trust him one bit and Andrea would know if he knew anything about his whereabouts.

Her hopes of finding Daryl wherever they were, were quickly crushed when Merle asked Andrea if she knew where he was. Shit, there went her hopes of seeing him again. She needed a cigarette, for god's sake why wouldn't they give them their bags?! Why wouldn't they let them leave?

* * *

Michonne was of the same opinion as Jasmin – they had to get the hell away from this place, away from this Governor, away from Merle, away from this town. Jasmin knew how the people looked at her, she wasn't blind – they didn't trust her and they also didn't trust Michonne. She didn't like being looked at like that, if they didn't want her, she surely wouldn't stay either. But Andrea wanted to stay and in the end, they only just convinced her to come with them. They were on their way to the gate when Merle once again tried to talk them out of going.  
"Hey hey hey, hey girls, where y'all off to in such a hurry? Huh?" He started walking towards them, Michonne and Jasmin tightening their hands on their weapons – weapons they had dearly missed too. "C'mon now, c'mon, hey hey hey. Y'all breaking my heart, running away like that."  
"We're leaving." Michonne announced even though Andrea's opinion was once again wavering and they all knew it.  
"It's almost curfew. I'd have to arrange an escort. And I mean, the party's still going on!" The women just looked at each other, the minds of Jasmin and Michonne still set. "Alright, wait here a second." With that, Merle walked over to one of the guards, whispering with him, which Jasmin did not like at all.

What followed was, in short, a discussion between the three women on whether they should go. Andrea once more wanted to stay, now that she thought they really were allowed to come and go whenever they wanted but Jasmin and Michonne weren't buying it. They knew they had to get out of there if they were ever going to leave and in the end, they let Andrea make her own decision. They had offered and discussed leaving and had made the decision, if Andrea wasn't sticking with it, there was nothing they could do.  
They parted ways, Michonne telling Andrea that she slowed them down anyway, Jasmin waited a few seconds then said, "Take care of yourself and if you ever see him, tell him I'm still looking for him, yeah?" She squeezed Andrea's shoulder and went after Michonne.

When she reached Michonne, she said, "I'm not buying it, we have to get away as fast as possible." Michonne only nodded, having thought the same thing.

* * *

Running, they were once again running. They had been right to think that the Governor wouldn't just let them leave, it probably was a good thing Andrea had stayed there, at least she'd be alive. Michonne had the idea that they would leave their pursuers a message. It had been easy but efficient – 'Go Back'. There was nothing else they had to say to them, of course they weren't foolish enough to think that they would just leave them be so they hid their backpack, as their stuff fit into one of the things, and waited for the men to find their message.

Fuck, Jasmin thought, there were more men than she had anticipated. Six men plus Merle had been sent to get them, or kill them – they didn't know what it was, probably the latter. Of course, they were stupid enough not to get it at first, only the youngest one of the bunch understood what the message said. They waited a bit, looking on as Merle laid into the guy – he was clearly terrified.  
"What's the deal darlings? You gonna leap outta the woods, go two against seven, with only your pick stickers and one gun when all of us are armed to the teeth? No no no, Michonne and Jasmin."

They had heard enough, there was no way around it, they nodded at each other and jumped down from their perches in the trees. Michonne made quick work of two of the guys, cutting one of their heads clean off and piercing the other's heart. Jasmin swung her machete with her left hand, hitting one of the other guys in the arm, not quite getting it through all the bone though he was bleeding profusely and shot her gun with the right hand, hitting one man before he even knew what was going on, the other only had the chance to shoot once – to miss once, and then his heart beat no more and he fell to the ground. Michonne and Jasmin looked at one another for a second and then they were off. Merle was shooting his gun and Jasmin thought he might have hit Michonne in the leg but then she was gone in the other direction, planning on going back to meet Michonne at the hiding place of their backpack. No one was following her for the time being so she walked the long way back to meet Michonne.

She heard the fight before she saw them, Michonne without her katana, on the ground fighting off Merle while the two others were fighting off Walkers. She shot the bleeding man from behind, which before the end of the world, she would have thought cowardly but now she didn't care. The younger one meanwhile was helping Merle who was just a few seconds away from being bit by a Walker. She made her way towards them, wanting to kill Merle first, then the other. Merle reacted faster than she thought possible though, throwing his arm around while he did so. Jasmin had just been ready to strike with the machete, the gun having no more ammo, when his knife, so much longer than a normal arm, cut open the side of her face. Her strike fell short as she gasped, a hand clutching her wound out of reflex.  
"Run!" She shouted towards Michonne, knowing that there was no way they could both escape, not when Michonne was shot and she was bleeding this much. Michonne hesitated but Merle was occupied by Jasmin.  
"Any last words?" He asked her, the gun to her head, her machete in his hand.  
"Daryl would be ashamed of you." Was all she said. She put all the venom she had into it but god, just saying his name hurt. She'd never stop missing him, even when she was just seconds away from death, she couldn't stop herself from feeling the loss all over again.  
"Ya knew my brother?" Merle was pissed. The bitch had been holding back information from him.  
"Yeah, I did. And well. I'd even say I knew him better than you ever did." Why the hell was she antagonizing him? Maybe she could buy Michonne some time this way, it was the least she could do now.  
"Why'd you never say anything before? Maybe I woulda helped you instead of holdin' ya back." Of course, Merle wouldn't have but maybe she would tell him what she knew.  
"You never asked, always assumed and Andrea knows I didn't want you to know. I knew I couldn't trust you."

Merle was done talking to her for the time being, he just whacked her over the head with his metal arm.  
"You take her back to Woodbury, holding cell, I wanna have another chat with her, see what she knows. I'ma go looking for that black bitch some more." He said to Gargulio, who just nodded and began dragging her limp body into the direction of the road to get a car.

* * *

Michonne was cursing Jasmin, heaven and hell under her breath. Why the hell had she done that? How the fuck had she actually spoken, with that cut? From where she been standing, it had looked as if that fucker had actually cut bone-deep. All the blood and now, she was at the mercy of those Woodbury lunatics.

Michonne ran though, mostly because Jasmin had told her to, knowing there was no way they would both make it. Still, she felt like shit and the situation didn't get better when she saw the Asian guy and the pretty girl being kidnapped by Merle. The asshole never had enough, apparently. There was nothing she could have done for them, she knew that and getting to that prison they had been talking about was also her only option. Maybe it even was for the best – if their people wanted to get them back, she could go with them and get Jasmin out of there too.

The walk was long though and Michonne was at the end of her strength when she reached the fence. After that, everything was fuzzy for a while, maybe she had passed out but when she woke up, she was inside a building and to say she was displeased would be an understatement. She was once again without her katana and those people were having some sort of tearful reunion when two of their own were probably in a whole lot of pain at the moment – not that they knew of course. One of those people had to be Daryl, the Daryl Dixon Merle had been looking for, the Daryl that she knew Jasmin loved and missed every day. But somehow, she didn't care about that now, the only thing she cared about was getting those people to help her free her and the other two. Mostly she cared about Jasmin and getting revenge on that asshole of a Governor – if it wasn't for that bastard, they'd be okay.

When they came to talk to her once more, she got who Daryl was even though he wasn't introduced at first – there were things that were similar to Merle, the way he talked, the suspicion, something about the way he carried himself. In the end, she got what she wanted; her leg was taken care of and they were off to Woodbury to get Maggie and Glenn, that were their names. Only that Michonne planned on doing some rescuing of her own, without the lot of them, she was better off without them anyway.

* * *

When she woke up, it was with a start and to a sharply pulsing pain on the left side of her face, blood oozing slowly from it down her face and neck. For a second she was confused, what the fuck had happened? And then she remembered, Merle and the others pursuing her and Michonne, Michonnr getting shot and Merle cutting her own face open. She had told him she knew Daryl and then there was nothing.

She looked around, trying to take stock of her situation and the blood froze in her veins. 'No no no no', was all her brain was able to process for minutes. This situation was all too familiar to her – being bound, left in a room, bleeding, in pain, not knowing what comes next. She had been through this once and barely made it out alive. Would she be able to survive another one of these rooms?

Time was something she couldn't be sure of, she didn't know how long she had been out, why she was even still alive and when someone might come and change that fact. She also didn't know how long she had been awake until the door to the room opened. She didn't exactly feel relief when this happened though, because it was Merle who walked in. His shirt had blood on it, fresh blood and he didn't look too happy, not to say downright livid.  
"You're gonna tell me what ya know about ma brother, and yer gonna tell me now!" He was in her face as he spat this, his accent coming through. He always tried to keep it down around the Governor but here, no one cared. Jasmin looked him in the eye, defiantly. She wouldn't say anything, not that she knew a whole lot about where he was now.

He hit her in the face after a minute of silence, right on her wound, opening it fully once more. It hurt like a motherfucker but Jasmin barely made a sound. She knew people like Merle, they got off on the pain they inflicted but she had survived this for way longer so she would stay quiet until she could no longer take it.  
"Seems like yer going to be tough, huh? Didn't help Glenn any." He laughed cruelly after that. Jasmin's eyes widened.. Glenn? Was he here? Was he dead?

She didn't say anything but Merle understood anyway. So the bitch knew Glenn, maybe she knew where their camp was all along. He would find his brother and then, things would be right again.  
"Yeah, poor Glenn is Walker-food now. You wanna die that way too?"  
"Just do what you have to do, Arschloch. I'm not telling you anything." She said, reverting back to her native language for just a second there. Cursing still was effortless in German, it seemed and she had no concentration to spare for translating either. Her cheek was getting to her, she had also lost enough blood to actually feel it.

Merle's patience was at an end, he'd get answers, he didn't care about anything else. He looked at his knife for just a second, thinking to himself that she had felt it once before, maybe she'd appreciate a reconnaissance. He decided on the shoulder, he didn't want her to die just yet, only pain. Without further ado, he plunged the knife into her left shoulder, unknowingly hitting the exact same spot where she had been shot 8 months before.  
She lost it then, there was no way she could keep quiet. "Heilige Scheiße, du verdammtes Aas." If she wasn't bound to the chair, she would have killed him after that, she didn't even care if she died that day, as long as he died too. Blood was gushing out of the wound and hit Merle's already soiled shirt.  
"I like making ya bleed, brings out yer charm. What language is that, huh? Where ya from?" He came up to her, dragging her cheek across his shirt  
"Not telling you anything. I doubt Daryl would come for you, even if he knew you're here." she gasped, dizzy. All the damn blood she was losing, she knew it wouldn't be long until she passed out. Why did head and face wounds have to bleed so fucking much?

"Yeah, you think you know him so well? Better make sure ya never tell him we met then darlin'." With that, he started hitting her face once more, leaving nearly nothing without bruising. It was like he was getting all his aggression out. As if to finish her off, he once more pierced through the already existing wound in her shoulder, then made his way to the door. "Have fun dying alone here."  
"Ich hoffe du verreckst.." was the last thing she said, even though it was barely a whisper. The last thought she had before passing out was another one though, 'Daryl.'

* * *

She thought she had died but when she was roused by Michonne shaking her desperately, she knew differently. Fuck, everything was woozy and her movements sluggish.  
"C'mon, we gotta get you out of here!" Michonne said. She was shocked when she had finally found Jasmin, blood all over her, bruises too. She wasn't even sure she was still alive until she was up close and felt her heart beat.  
They moved slowly but steadily until they came to the weakness of the wall. Michonne gave Jasmin the gun and machete she had picked up from outside the room, telling her to head straight in one direction.  
"I'll come and get you with the other people that are here, I helped them. Just walk until you come to the road, I'll get you. I've got to deal with the Governor and Merle."  
Jasmin wanted to say something, but Michonne was already gone so she had no option but to go in the direction Michonne had pointed out, hoping that she didn't come across any Walkers and didn't pass out.

* * *

It was already dawn when she finally made it to the road. There, she sank to the ground, slumping over. She laid down as the sun came up, having no more strength left. She hoped Michonne and the others, whoever they were, arrived soon because if a Walker came now, she wouldn't be able to stop it from killing her. Drifting in and out of consciousness, she barely registered anything, not even when a car stopped about 10 feet away from her.

After Merle and Daryl went off, Rick had been pissed.  
"We patch you up and then you are gone!" He had spat into her face.  
At first, she had only nodded but then she had said, "There's something else I gotta ask of you. We need to stop and get someone else, please. She needs help."  
Maggie jumped in, agreeing before Rick could refuse. "Of course."  
"We'll take a look, that's all I'm promising." Rick answered. He couldn't outright refuse but he didn't like the idea.

They drove for a while until Michonne asked Rick to stop driving. Was she actually talking about the person lying next to the street? If they were dead or bitten, they would leave them behind – there wasn't a chance in hell that he would endanger his people for a stranger. Rick got out of the car slowly, not really caring what was going on. How could Daryl just up and leave them? Sure, it was his brother, but did the 10 months mean nothing?  
Glenn was the first person to reach the figure Michonne was kneeling next to and when he realized who was actually lying there, all he felt was shock. Jasmin? Was she dead? She sure looked dead and.. kind of gross and cut open. Hell, half of her face was a wound, the rest covered in bruises. It seemed like he had gotten away lightly compared to her.  
"Fuck, what the hell happened to her?" He asked Michonne. When she didn't answer, he called toward out, "Rick! It's Jasmin, we gotta get her back to the prison now! She's in a bad shape."

Once Rick grasped what was going on, they got her into the car and were off toward the prison. When they got there, they barely stopped long enough to tell Carol and Carl to come up to the prison – Carol so she could help Hershel look after their wounded.

* * *

When Jasmin came to, she was caught up with everything that had happened since the group had left the farm. Fortunately for her, the others had already gotten Michonne to tell them the main points of what they had done in the months they had been separated. When they told her that Daryl had abandoned the group just an hour before they had found her, she turned her head toward the wall to obscure the tears that leaked out of her eyes at the realization that she had just missed him – that he had chosen her tormentor over everyone else he knew and cared for. She knew what that meant, it meant that if it came down to her and Merle, Daryl would choose Merle.

Hershel and Carol had stitched up her wounds but everyone knew that the cut on her cheek would scar badly. Merle had cut through all the tissue there, had only been stopped by the cheekbone and even that had been scraped, the knife's way etched into it. She rested mostly after that, Hershel had announced that it was a wonder she was even alive in the first place because she had lost so much blood.

When Sophia came running to tell her that Daryl and Merle were back, she told the girl and Maggie that she didn't want to see him. She couldn't take Daryl picking Merle over her, not after the things that asshole had done to her. She'd pretend as if he wasn't even there, that things were just like they had been for the last 8 months. She closed her eyes then, tears once more leaving them. The last time she cried before that day had been when she learned her sister had died. Since then, she had always been strong, hadn't allowed herself the comfort of getting her emotions out in the open. But when she had been in that room, just like the one she had been in so long ago, something inside her had snapped and it was as if her strength had leaked out of her together with her blood. She knew she was broken once again, she just hoped that no one else would realize that.

* * *

Reunion in the next chapter, though it won't be smooth sailing. I'm looking forward to writing some Daryl rage, because seriously, of course he won't choose Merle over Jasmin, will he? :P

Tell me if there are any typos, I'm uploading this without proofreading it for now. I thought you'd all appreciate it.  
Leave me a review if you'd like a teaser for next chapter or if you just want to give me your opinion.

Translation for German phrases:  
Arschloch = asshole  
Heilige Scheiße, du verdammtes Aas = Holy Shit, you damned swine (haha, sounds kinda funny in English but you get it)  
Ich hoffe du verreckst.. = I hope you snuff it.

Cursing in German is fun. And yes, I'm from Germany so yay, I finally got to use my cursing skills a bit.

Next chapter will be up on Monday, probably, maybe even late Sunday if I feel generous.


	11. Bent or Broken?

The much anticipated chapter is finally here.  
Reunion - just sayin'. ;)  
Guess I was feeling generous, huh?

* * *

Bent or Broken?

_Previously:  
_

"_She doesn't want to see you." Maggie's words were like a knife to his gut. What? Why? He hadn't seen her in months, what was there that she would be angry at him for?  
"Why the hell would that be?" He asked.  
"Because you brought him." Daryl followed Maggie's pointing finger although he already knew who was meant. Merle._

* * *

Once more, Daryl was frozen for one second before he understood. He understood that the blood on Merle's shirt, nearly all of it, was _Jasmin's_. That his brother had hurt her, hurt Jasmin, hurt the woman he loved. That he had hurt her so bad that she didn't want to see him because he had brought his brother. He understood that Merle had done the one thing Daryl probably couldn't forgive – Merle had taken Jasmin from him when she was finally within his reach. Just when he had realized that she was here, after all the time without her, time that he had spent missing her she didn't want him anymore because of his brother. His brother, the man he had already regretted going with and now he didn't know how he felt about the fact that he had brought him here. Fuck, if he had been alone, he could already be looking at her. He had to know what had happened, now.

Daryl walked up to his brother, aiming his crossbow at him. "What'cha do to her?"  
"Why do ya care? She's just a stupid bitch who wouldn't tell me what I wanted to know."  
"What'cha do to her? I ain't askin' again!" Daryl was at the end of his patience, if he even had any that day. If Merle didn't answer soon, he'd find out what an arrow up his ass felt like.  
"Roughened her up a little, did my job and tried to get her to tell me where ya were." Merle didn't get it, why was his brother all over him just because he had beaten up the bitch?

Up until then, the others had just looked on but then, Michonne had enough. That son of a bitch had nearly killed Jasmin and it was time Daryl knew it. It wasn't that she liked Daryl a lot, actually she didn't but she wanted Merle gone, preferably dead.  
"You nearly killed her, you asshole. Left her for dead, she would've died in that hole if it weren't for these people here."  
"Killed her? Ya fuckin' tried to kill her?" Daryl didn't get it, his brother had said he had roughened her up, that was a long way from killing someone.  
"Cause she fuckin' got on my nerves, alrigh'? No one cared if she lived or died, don't get your panties all in a bundle." Merle was laughing, somehow he thought his brother was funny when he was all riled up like that. Still, it made no sense whatsoever to him. He didn't pay much attention to what was going on and didn't see Carol sneaking up on the two brothers, hitting Merle with the barrel of her shotgun.  
"You better take a look yourself, until then he goes into a cell – and no discussion about this!" She added when she saw that Daryl was ready to disagree.

Merle was dragged into the cell farthest from Jasmin and the people living in the prison knew that this conflict wasn't going to just go away. No one trusted or even liked Merle, hell they hated him for what he had done to Jasmin (and Michonne) and that Daryl had left them once for him. He might have come back, but it still irked them.  
How was this conflict going to be dealt with? They didn't have time for something like this now, hell the Governor could attack any second and if they were honest, they needed all the muscle they could get – and Merle had a lot of that, also insight because he had been in the enemy's camp up until two days ago. In the end, it all came down to Jasmin and Daryl, if they were able to work something out concerning Merle, they would follow their lead. If not, well they could hold him a while. For the sakes of Daryl and Jasmin, they hoped that they would work through this though, they had all witnessed what Daryl had gone through when they had lost Andrea and Jasmin. They didn't want Daryl to lose her all over again.  
Sophia went to her mother, hugging her because she understood that now was the time when their lives were once more hanging on a thread, not only because of the Governor but also because Daryl had been a big part of them in the last months – losing him would be disastrous for them.

* * *

About two hours after the attack, Daryl still hadn't seen Jasmin – but he had gotten an account of what the others knew. What his brother had done to her, knowingly and unknowingly.. Daryl wanted to kill his brother. The only thing keeping the bastard safe was actually the cell that he was in so the others were safe from him. He wanted to pummel him, smash his face in, destroy him – and he hadn't even seen the marks on her skin in person yet.

Finally, he gathered his courage, reigned in his rage and walked up the cell she was staying in. He had been quiet, but somehow she had still heard him.  
"Stay where you are, I was serious." She said, her back turned to him. Her hair was fanned out behind her, some strands had fallen off the bunk and were lightly grazing the floor. Damn, her hair had grown a lot. Daryl drank it in, he had never before cared about someone's hair but at the moment, it was all he was able to see and he wasn't going to complain. There she was, alive and talking. The emotion of it all was nearly bringing him to his knees, fuck he had missed her so much.  
"Just lemme explain."  
"No" she nearly cut him off. "Go away. I need rest." The venom in her voice left him staggering and a moment later, he went into his cell. He was crushed, how was he supposed to make it right again? His brother had messed up, not him. What did she want him to do? He just wanted her back, looking at him, smiling at him, talking to him, smoking with him. Fuck! This wasn't how he had hoped their reunion would go.

Jasmin meanwhile was shaking from the effort not to cry once again. Just hearing his voice nearly had her caving. But how could she put her heart out there, just so he could stomp on it. Even on the slight chance that he didn't choose his brother over her at first, who would want her like this? She hadn't been allowed to stand up yet so she had no way of knowing how bad her face really looked, but the cut was big, she could feel it throbbing, could imagine how it looked. The other scars on her body at least were covered in tattoos and not on her face for all the world to see. Not to mention all the bruising, swelling that currently deformed her face – if he saw her like that, he'd run for the hills. God, this hurt so much more than not knowing where he was. This wasn't how she had imagined their reunion, not at all.  
Someone touched her shoulder then, she had been too focused on keeping her emotions in check to notice. The hand was small, warm and female – Sophia. Jasmin turned around so she could look at the girl.  
"Are you gonna be okay?" The girl whispered, knowing that Jasmin didn't want Daryl to hear. "We could go for a walk to the yard, Hershel said it would do you good. You think you can walk?"  
Jasmin nodded and sat up slowly. They went out to the yard then, Jasmin realizing that Sophia had changed a lot, had gotten a lot tougher, grown up but somehow, she was also still the same. After slowly getting out of the building, they sat down in the yard. Just when Jasmin thought that a cigarette would be heaven right now, Sophia handed her a pack.  
"I took them from Daryl's stash, don't think he'd mind. He hit a goldmine just before we found the prison, his words not mine."  
"Thanks, sweetie." She tried to smile at her, but it didn't really show because of how swollen her face was. They sat after that, in silence until Sophia spoke up.  
"I think it's best we head inside now, I know mama will be nearly done with dinner soon." With that, she helped Jasmin up and they went back inside, Jasmin once more lying down.  
Sophia said, as if in goodbye, "You know he missed you like crazy, right?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Carol went up to Daryl's cell, intent on talking to him.  
"Haven't had a chance to say, I'm glad you came back."  
Daryl huffed, saying, "To what? All of this?" He was pointing the arrow he was fiddling with around the room.  
"This is our home." Carol replied.  
"This is a tomb." He wasn't only referring to the fact that they would all die here but that people had already died there.  
"That's what T-Dog called it. I thought he was right, until you found me." She looked at him then and he gave her an attempt of a smile, even though he didn't really feel like smiling at all. But this was Carol and Carol was his friend.  
"He's your brother, but he's not good for you. Don't let him bring you down."  
"Already did. How am I supposed to make this right?" They both knew he was talking about Jasmin.  
"She needs time to heal."  
"What he did to her, it was just like when she was back in Germany. I jus' know that she thought that she was back there. In a way, she was."  
"She will come around, I think she missed you just as much as you did her. If her reaction to you not being here when she realized it was us is anything to go by, at least. You'll work this out, just don't let Merle out of that cell." Daryl nodded at that, understanding that making her feel as safe as possible would be the best he could do right now.

* * *

That night, they all woke up to the screams – her screams. Daryl's blood froze when he heard her, god, at first he had thought she was actually being attacked. No one understood what she was shouting, at least not fully but they were sure that it was a memory of when she had been 21. Daryl didn't sleep again that night, sitting just outside her cell to make sure no one could really get to her.

* * *

After breakfast, Daryl went into his cell again to get Jasmin's backpack. He wanted to give it to her and maybe, she'd talk to him then.  
"Are we really doing this again?" She asked, having once more heard his approach.  
"Just thought you'd want your stuff, kept it so you'd get it back when ya found us." He set her backpack down, intending to go when she .  
"You kept it all this time?" She asked him. He still couldn't see her face, she kept it in the shadow but he saw her legs dangling over the bunk. Had they always been this skinny? There was barely any meat on them, hell it looked as if all there was to them was muscle.  
"Yeah, couldn't just throw it away. Wouldn't just give ya up."  
"Is he going to stay here forever?" She wanted Merle gone, dead, so he would never hurt her again, look at her again, talk to her again. He was just a living reminder of what he had done to her.  
"In the last cell, he ain't leavin' it until ya say it's okay." He meant to be reassuring, but somehow, it made her angry. She thrust her face into the light, leaving him literally frozen in shock. It was even worse than he had anticipated and he had painted a pretty bad picture in his head.  
"Do you think I will ever want him out of that cell? No, he can rot and die in there for all I care. Now get the hell away from me!" When he didn't move right away, she picked up a fork that was lying next to her bed and threw it at him. It didn't really hurt him, of course, but he came out of his shock. He took one last look at Jasmin and then went off to find Rick.

"Gimme the key." Daryl growled at Rick.  
"Why?" Since the attack, Rick had gotten back to himself, realizing what was going on around him once more.  
"Just give it to me!" Rick took one look at Daryl, thinking that if he didn't do what the man wanted, he might be the one who felt the wrath of a Dixon so he just gave it to him. That didn't mean that he was going to leave Daryl unsupervised though.

Daryl didn't waste any more time, getting the cell door open as soon as he arrived. Merle was stupid enough to think that his brother had realized that there was no reason to keep him locked up and therefore was totally caught off guard when Daryl landed his first of many punches to his face. Daryl had never before had the upper hand in a fight between the two brothers – his brother was bigger and heavier muscled from his time in the military but today, their roles were reversed. Daryl's rage fueled his strength and Merle was too shocked to react at first. While Daryl was laying into Merle, he shouted at him.  
"There's one good thing in my whole fuckin' life and you gotta ruin it, huh? Someone actually givin' a damn about me and ya gotta drive her away from me, do that ta her and for what? So that yer stupid Governor can kick ya out! Fuck, if ya weren't blood, you'd be dead by now. No one harms the woman I love!"  
Shit, shit, shit. He hadn't meant to say that. He shoved Merle back into cell, locked it and was out of the building like a shot. The rest of the prison gang stood shocked, most of them had made their way to the commotion, wanting to know what was going on. No one had expected Daryl to lose it like that, especially because just two days ago, he had chosen his brother over them. Now it looked as if he was ready to kill Merle and not regret it one bit. What really had their minds reeling though was that Daryl had announced his feelings for Jasmin for all of them to hear. They had suspected, of course, but Daryl never spoke of such things as feelings, at least not for his own benefit.

Daryl had escaped the prison and was sitting outside, looking at the Walker-infested yard. He heard someone approaching, not bothering to look who it was. He really didn't care, he wouldn't even make the effort for Carol right now.  
"You don't mean that." The voice that said it had Daryl's head whipping around. He hadn't expected Jasmin to come to him, not after what she had said, what his brother had done.  
"What?" What exactly was she talking about? Fuck, why wasn't she looking at him? He just wanted her to look at him.  
"You don't love me. How could you, we haven't seen each other in months." It wasn't making much sense for her to tell him that because she knew that she loved Daryl too and it wasn't impossible for her to feel that way, so why would it be for him? But she wasn't thinking straight, she was only thinking about the new scar and how she looked with it. Somehow she was forgetting who she was talking to, that Daryl had his own scars and that he had known about her old scars too and hadn't cared about them.  
"I do, don't matter that I haven't seen you. Ya know I ain't good with this shit but I ain't never given up hope on findin' ya. Kept this too." With that, he took the dark blue metal box out of his pocket and handed it to her. She couldn't believe it, she had thought she had lost it forever.  
"Where did you find this? I thought I lost it at the farm." She was clutching the box to her heart, still incredulous.  
"Ya did, found it at the farm, trampled and with blood on it. Thought it was yours, thought ya might be dead. Took it with me'nd used it for the cigarettes."  
"Thank you. I mean it, really." She looked at him then and they both knew that they couldn't be without the other. Jasmin sat down next to Daryl on the bench, not really knowing what to do with that realization.

"I don't know how to fix this."  
"Me neither, just know that I need ya." Daryl confessed. It took a lot to just say this, what if she sent him away anyway?  
"He's your brother, I get that. But please don't ask me to just forget what he did. It.. it was just like it was back then. I.." She trailed off, lost for words but she didn't have to spell it out, not for Daryl. He had understood as soon as the others had told him what had happened – it was as he had feared.  
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry." What else was he supposed to say anyway? There was no way for him to take her pain away.  
"You know, I antagonized him so Michonne could get away. When he realized I knew you, the thought I knew where you were. That's why he held me there. The cheek happened before when I tried to kill him." Daryl's shoulders went rigid – she had tried to kill his brother? When? Why? She seemed to get his confusion, "The Governor sent Merle and six others to kill Mich and me. We got rid of all of them but Merle and another guy and I only had my machete so I had to get into hitting distance. Merle was faster though and that was it for my face being without scars." There was this hollow laugh again, the one Daryl had first heard when she had told the group about Germany.

Talking about what happened with Merle didn't exactly have a therapeutic influence on Jasmin though, who was feeling more dizzy as the story continued. When she was done, her stomach heaved and emptied the content of her stomach onto the pavement. Daryl was next to her as soon as he noticed something was amiss, so when she swayed he caught her. He carried her inside after that, looking at her face from up close – he'd kill his brother if he said one wrong word, that much was without question. What he had done to Jasmin was unforgivable, maybe Merle would really spend the rest of his days in that cell – he would, as far as Daryl was concerned.  
He set her down on the bunk of her bed and thew the blanket, getting Hershel to check her over. Daryl had noticed that she was slightly hotter to the touch than she was supposed to be and he was worried out of his mind. When Hershel was checking out Jasmin, Rick came to talk to Daryl – once more not caring that Daryl had other things to worry about.  
"What'cha want?" Daryl asked impatiently. He wanted to know what was wrong with Jasmin, not have a chat, for god's sake.  
"I want Merle out of that cell, we need him." Rick announced but really, it was more of an order.  
"Are you crazy? He ain't goin' anywhere! Ya taken a look at Jasmin lately?"Daryl was flabbergasted, how far gone was Rick to make such a decision?  
"It's final. We need him, you keep an eye on him. I'm serious, I know this isn't easy but we need the muscle." Daryl felt as if Rick had kicked him in the gut. Why was he doing this to him? He had just told Jasmin that Merle would stay in the cell until she said otherwise and now?

* * *

Insensitive Rick, huh? On his defense: he's still in gaga land, he'll understand that he made a mistake with that choice soon though, maybe.  
Jasmin is not out of the woods yet but maybe Daryl can be her hero? ;) ;)  
They talked but things are not okay, that's as fast as I could take it. I don't want them to just jump at each other. I hope y'all have a bit more patience, they will make up soon, maybe in the next chapter already.  
If you're nice I might listen to what you request in the reviews :P


	12. Heaven's Gonna Wait

Surprise, a chapter.  
I know that I've been awful this last week with updating and writing. The thing is that I was and still am moving! My stuff is in my new flat but I still have to paint the whole thing with my friend and roommate. University is also kicking my butt even though the semester has barely begun. Oh wait, it's been 3 weeks already? What.. well anyway, it will get better. Just this week will still be stressful. So the next update will be another weeks or at least a few days. I hope you'll be able to cope with the wait.

* * *

Heaven's Gonna Wait

"I had hoped we could avoid this" Hershel began. He was talking to Carol, Daryl and Rick, the latter two had been summoned after Hershel and Carol had checked Jasmin over. "She has an infection and I don't have the antibiotics and NSAIDs to treat her. If she's going to survive, we need someone to make a run – and soon." Hershel's voice was grave, carrying the worry he felt for the woman he had pushed away when he had first met her. Jasmin had a fever and her two main wounds had started oozing pus during the night. Hershel hadn't checked the wounds immediately after breakfast, something he was now regretting. He had only realized after she was gone that he had made a mistake, mainly because he had to realize that Daryl was also a indispensable part of the group. While Hershel might not know much about the woman, he had to admit that without her, Sophia would be dead. And the girl was both a dear friend to his girls, especially Beth, but he also cared very much for the intelligent girl himself. Just like everyone else, Hershel also knew that if they lost Jasmin, they might as well give Daryl a gun with one bullet in it.

Therefore it came as no surprise to him when Daryl immediately announced that he was going to make the needed run.  
"You can't go alone." Carol said, intending of accompanying him herself but Rick had once again other ideas.  
"Take Merle with you, you can work this out then."  
If it wasn't for Carol, Daryl might have killed Rick right then and there.  
"Are you crazy? Why would you let Merle out of that cell? He's in no condition to make a run anyway. I'm going with Daryl." Carol announced, only months before it would have been impossible for her to disagree with their leader but she had become much stronger – both for herself and for her daughter. A lot of it was thanks to Daryl, without him she might still be the woman she was when they left Atlanta, who knew. He had searched for Sophia when everyone else had already given up and then he had taught them how to defend themselves – and had still rescued them time and again during the winter and the following months. Now it was time for her to give back, to help him when he needed it. Of course, she also wanted Jasmin save and sound, but to him Jasmin's survival was vital to his own.  
"When you get back, he gets out. We need the muscle. Go on now, get back as soon as possible, we don't know when the Governor is going to make his next move.

Carol said goodbye to Sophia, making sure her girl knew to keep a close eye on Jasmin and then they were off. They didn't really know where to start looking, they knew that the pharmacy two towns over had already been emptied so they decided to head north into mainly uncharted territory, hoping that the Governor hadn't come around to going there yet.  
The itself trip was relatively uneventful, they siphoned gas twice and then hit the town they were aiming for. Some Walkers were mingling about, ten in total and they set about killing them silently. Daryl killed the majority of them with his crossbow but Carol pulled her weight too, sneaking up on lone Walkers and ending them with her knife to their brains. The pharmacy looked worse for wear but was miraculously still mostly stocked. They got the antibiotics and NSAIDs Hershel had written down and more medicine that Hershel had written down on a separate list months ago for Carol. They also got bandages, disinfectant and other necessities, knowing that the pharmacy would most likely be empty the next time they came to the town.

Encouraged by their success in the pharmacy, they went into the grocery store next, regretting instantly that they hadn't taken the car. This town seemed to have been lost to the Walkers almost immediately after the outbreak. They left the perishables' aisles behind, getting right to the cans section, they took what they were able to pack into their bags and the bike's bags and got the hell out of there. Carol was already planning to return once Jasmin was fine, maybe the Governor wouldn't get here before they had the chance. They were feeling better than they had in weeks – hell all the supplies they had and the ones they could still get were a heaven sent, especially now that the Governor was trying to kill them.

Back at the prison, they got the supplies to Hershel and Carol told Maggie and Glenn of their find. The lovers decided almost immediately that they would go back to the town first thing in the morning. Sophia wanted to go with them too, which, albeit reluctantly, they allowed.

As the group waited for the medicine to take effect, Daryl stayed inside Jasmin's cell, sitting in front of her bed Indian style, just like he had done whenever they had talked after dinner at the farm. Hershel had told him that he had taken care of Merle while Daryl was gone, not that he cared much and that the man wanted to talk to Daryl. Daryl himself didn't feel inclined at all to go talk to his brother – not now, not ever.  
While he was waiting for Jasmin to wake up, he studied her face – studied the both what Merle had done to her and beneath that. Her left eye showed that her eyes had deep, dark circles beneath them, as if she hadn't slept in weeks even though she hadn't done much other than sleep since she had been brought back to the group. He realized that the circles must have been even worse before. Her body was frail – something that it hadn't been when they had first met. Back then she had been thin, but athletic, now she was only a shadow of that. Her hair had grown a lot, he had already seen that but apparently she hadn't really maintained her previous hair style so that her long her hair reached to her hips now and the side that had been short now would touch her shoulder if she had been sitting up. He wondered why that was, she had once told him that she loved her hair the way it had been.

After a while, Michonne came into the cell, quietly looking at Jasmin for a while.  
"Why's she like this?" He asked her suddenly. He came to the conclusion that if anyone knew why she looked like this, it would be Michonne – or Andrea, but she was busy with fucking the Governor. Michonne was quiet for a while, Daryl thought she might not even answer his question at all.  
"Started during the winter when she got sick. Ate less after that, didn't really care about much either though she tried to hide it. I saw. You better make this right, she won't survive for much longer like this." Michonne had only told him this because she hoped that Daryl would somehow make her better. She knew that Jasmin had missed that guy though she didn't understand why at all. She didn't tell him that Jasmin had been even more sick than Andrea because somehow, she had recovered. Yes, she hadn't been as strong after but that was to be expected, especially combined with the depression she had had because of the redneck. But well, Michonne hoped that her friend would be better soon anyway.  
Daryl himself was quiet, processing the information. He had known before that he had to make things right somehow but now, there was a new urgency behind this mission. It wasn't only about having her, it was about keeping her safe, well, now.

He sat like that until dinner time. He left her side then for about 10 minutes – he got his food, had a smoke outsides and was back at her side. She opened her eyes when evening had already fallen and Daryl wasted no time in getting even closer to her, trying to make sure she was fine without actually causing her discomfort, his hand lightly resting on her upper arm.  
"Hey, how're ya feelin'?"  
"I've been better." With that, she sat up slowly, taking the water Daryl handed her. He then turned around, calling for Hershel. The old man came in, checked the wound and gave Jasmin more of the antibiotics. Rick got Daryl halfway through the procedure.

The two men walked into the direction of Merle's cell but Daryl stopped as soon as he realized what Rick was up to.  
"No way I'm talkin' to him."  
"Yes, you are. You have to sort this out and then he's out of there. We don't know when the Governor is going to strike again." Rick said decidedly.  
Daryl hated Rick for telling him what to do like this and overriding his decision to leave his brother in the cell – he had no problem being Rick's 'right hand' when Rick made reasonable choices but since Lori's death, Rick was unstable and erratic.

Daryl walked the rest of the distance toward the cell anyway. If his brother was going to be walking around the prison, they had things to discuss. Merle looked up when Daryl came into view.  
"What, you gonna attack me again? Mind tellin' me what the hell's goin' on?"  
"Ya touch her 'gain, look at her the wrong way, yer dead. Got it?!" Daryl threatened.  
"Cause ya got the hots for her? Wouldn't have happened had the bitch just answered ma questions. Hell, she'd be dead already if she hadn't opened that mouth of hers. Was just tryin' ta find ya, baby bro."  
"So ya torture people who're sayin' they're ma friends?"  
"She never said that. Wasn't makin' much sense in general when she was talkin'. Mainly just had the poker face goin' for herself."  
"I don't even care. One wrong move, I'll have yer ass on a stick, got it? Same goes for everyone else, ya behave or yer gone." With that, Daryl walked off. Damn, talking to his brother had him fuming. Merle was shocked. Sure, he had messed up the bitch pretty bad but he hadn't expected his brother to react like this and now that he knew that something was going on between his brother and the bitch, he'd stay out of her way too. Hell he had just wanted to get information so he could find his brother, so what if he had tried to get her and Glenn to talk by beating them? His brother had turned into a pussy, it seemed, but he was still his brother. Somehow, he'd get Daryl to be his old self again.

* * *

Merle's cell was opened half an hour later by Rick, who gave him a nice talking to, telling him to stay away from the others if possible and that the others weren't afraid to shoot him if he made one wrong move. Merle was just glad to be out of that stinking cell and headed off to find his brother's stuff so he could snatch a cigarette. As he was going through his bro's backpack, someone walked up to him.  
"You can't just go through his stuff. Get away!" Sophia was enraged. She had originally gone to the cell to get Daryl's cigarettes as the hunter was currently pacing the prison yard, clearly upset.  
"And who do ya think ya are, orderin' me around?"  
"Daryl's friend and I'm serious. Stop it."  
"Yer mouth sure is bigger than it should be, missy. Now get lost an' leave me be 'fore I make ya regret it."

Across the cell block, Jasmin was lying on the bed, hearing everything. She decided that this wouldn't do. That asshole wouldn't get to be unfriendly to Sophia, not now – not ever. Getting up was hard, it was even harder to get her gun out of the pile of things at the end of the bed but she knew she did the right thing when she saw that Merle had advanced toward Sophia, clearly intending to be threatening. She made her way over as fast as possible, aiming her gun at Merle's head along the way.  
Making it to them just before Merle finally reached Sophia, she said, "One wrong move and you're dead, fucker."  
Merle froze, feeling the barrel of Jasmin's gun on the back of his head.  
"You okay, Sophia?" Jasmin made sure.  
"Yeah, nothing happened." Sophia answered.  
"You get what you needed , I'll take care of this."

When Sophia was gone, Jasmin turned back to Merle.  
"Listen up, asshole. You watch yourself or I'll blow out your brains, no hesitation. So think about what you're doing from now on."  
Merle actually laughed at that, "As if you'd kill me when ya got the hots for my brother."  
"Really? Try me. I don't care that you're his brother and if you tempt me, I will not deny myself the pleasure of killing you. Now get the fuck out of here or I'll do it right now."  
Merle stood there speechless for a few seconds, then went outside without another word, just wanting to get away from the crazy bitch.

* * *

"Ya shouldn't provoke him like that."  
"Why? What's he gonna do, mutilate me? Kill me? Let him. He'll be dead before my body's cold. I don't care." Jasmin answered, agitated that Daryl was telling her what to do. Daryl on the other hand was just about to pop an aneurism or something similar. The woman was unbelievable – she had just died not once but at least trice and then she went and threatened Merle like that. It seemed she really didn't care whether she lived or died as long as Merle died.  
"Don't ya get that people care that ya live or die?!"  
Jasmin scoffed, "Yeah, people will survive without me, they survived the last 8 months without me so I think they'll manage if ..."  
Daryl was done with words. He wasn't good with them on a good day and talking about feelings wasn't something he was ever comfortable with so he decided that his actions would speak louder and maybe convince Jasmin that he was serious. He closed the small space that was still between them, bending down so he could reach Jasmin, who was sitting on her bed and shut her up by fusing his lips with hers.

Fuck, this was heaven on earth. Daryl had thought about kissing Jasmin again since he had so stupidly broken their first kiss. He had imagined what it would be like, kissing her, feeling her again, being absolutely sure that she was okay. It was all he had hoped and more. When she didn't push him away but responded by kissing him back, he raised one hand to her cheek, remembering her wound on the other one, cradling her face in his large hand. He'd never let her go, that was for sure.  
When the kiss ended after some time, Daryl immediately spoke, "Will ya try and stay alive now?" while looking right into her brown eyes. She smiled then, her eyes for the first time since Daryl saw them again showing some spark of emotion in them.  
"Alright, but if he tries anything, he's a dead man."  
Instead of telling her that he agreed with her, Daryl just kissed her once more.

* * *

Does this make waiting okay? I am very happy with the ending of the chapter although a lot of things are still unresolved. But: THEY FINALLY KISSED AGAIN! YAY!  
Who's happy with me, huh? The long wait forgiven, forgotten maybe? *puppy dog eyes*


	13. AN: Talk To Me!

I want to use this previous AN to, first off, thank everyone for their encouraging words.  
I have decided to continue writing this story as I really am very fond of it. I hope you feel the same way if you come across this.

I also want to use this space to tell you that reviews really help keep me motivated and from doubting my writing too much as English is not my first language.

If you see any mistakes/typos, please don't hesitate to tell me!


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